[jhorsemfus]

>A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher
>said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human
>because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
>small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
>Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
>human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get
>to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to
>hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".


>A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
>they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
>child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working
>diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm
>drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God
>looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing,
>the girl replied, "They will in a minute."


>A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
>five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor"
>thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that
>teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a
>beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not
>kill."


>One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
>dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has
>several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette
>head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some
>of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that
>you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs
>turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a
>while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are
>white?"


>The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
>persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
>nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
>'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
>doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's
>the teacher, She's dead."


>A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
>to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
>head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red
>in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am
>standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into
>my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."


>The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
>school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
>The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God
>is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of
>the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had
>written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.