today draws to a close in the most stressful of times...my words have not be smart all day...plans made in my head have not been fulfilled...when will i realize that i am not in control of this outside world...when will i open my mouth more than to just insert a foot...i have made many mistakes today...but i know that there was some time spent that i will always be grateful for....when i was allowed to just be me...laugh at just being silly...like a child once more...then reality sets in and i realize that my words could hurt and not mean to...i am so beside myself that i may have hurt those closest to me...i can only pray to my God that the hearts i have hurt can forgive me...i try to understand a world that i feel i do not belong...the tears that i may have caused sink deep into my soul as i try to apologize...will i be given that second chance to make things right or have i hurt their heart so bad that they can not give me that chance...my tears flow freely as i try to find my words all jumbled inside of my head like like lottery numbers in the machine...twirling and spinning out of control...will the angel appear tonight to allow my mind to rest or is this her way of saying tonight you will ponder your mistakes and think hard what i have done to another human soul...i guess time will tell...tonight i ponder on a day that does not truly close
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