Why are men like lawn mowers?
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
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How is an ex-husband like an inflamed Appendix?
It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn't need it anyway.
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What do men and pantyhose have in common?
They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch!
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How do we know men invented maps?
Who else would make an inch into a mile?!
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How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
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How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals."
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After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers.
"I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one."
The next time came around and she asked again.
The husband looked puzzled, "Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!"
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