A newlywed couple who were both avid baseball fans attended a Cub game. They were still on their honeymoon and very affectionate, hugging and kissing so much that they weren't able to follow the game. After a couple of seconds of thought the wife says, "I've got an idea, honey. You kiss me on the strikes and I'll kiss you on the balls."
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A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean." She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!"
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