Which is harder to make? A blonde, brunette or a red-headed snowman?
A blonde, because you have to hollow out its head.
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What do you call a blonde in the closet?
The 1984 hide and go seek champion.
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A blonde stopped by a pizza shop one night and ordered a medium pizza. The Italian owner asked "How would you like that cut, in six or four pieces?" After some thought, she answered, "Better cut it in four, I don't think I can eat six pieces!"
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A man says to his blonde wife, "Guess what I heard at our favorite pub today? They were saying the milkman is having sex with every woman in our apartment building except one, but they are not sure who that one is." And right a way she jumps up and says, "I know who it is, it's that stuck-up bitch Phyllis, in apartment 12."
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A young blonde lady went on a tour trip on an old steam train that took the passengers through mountains and tunnels. As the train approached a tunnel, the conductor hurriedly walked through the coaches warning passengers, "Tunnel ahead. Look out!" The blonde quickly stuck her head out the window, and her forehead met with the concrete entrance of the tunnel. After being revived 15 minutes later, the blonde's words were, "That stupid son of a b*tch! He should have told me to look in!"
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Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
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Q: Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio?
A: It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.
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Did you hear about the blonde that ...
... Lost her boyfriend because she forgot where she laid him.
... Thought that asphalt was rectum trouble.
... Was called tapioca because she could be made in a minute.
... Thought her typewriter was pregnant because it missed a period.
... Thought that "no kidding" meant some form of birth control.
... Thought that peter pan was something for under the bed.
... Thought that "Moby Dick" was a venereal disease.
... Thought that a sanitary belt was a drink from clean shot glass.
... Smelled good only on the right side because she couldn't find the left guard.
... Wore union pants because her best friend was having labor pains.
... Studied 5 days for a urine test.
... Thought KOTEX was a radio station in Texas.
... Thought fetus was a character from "Gunsmoke".
... Thought a mushroom was a place to kiss.
... Was in the Indy 500 and had 7 pit stops, 1 for gas and 6 for directions.
... Put 75 holes in her face? ... she was learning to eat with a fork.
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