It's only natural that your children feel the way that they do AR, you're their mother, and in their eyes, that's all you should be. She's hurt, sit down with her and explain how you feel one on one. Remind her that nobody will ever take their fathers place in their lives OR yours.
I know that it's an extremely difficult situation, but when all is said and done, you need a life as well, and I think that you should go for it, life is way too short to put off living. You're a woman, you can still be a mother and be a human being with needs as well....it's funny how we allow ourselves to feel guilty for that. I wouldnt' suggest flaunting it in their faces right away, give it time, introduce him to your family slowly, kids are amazing little creatures, they'll adjust.
I wish you all the best!
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