Advice to Men
1. The reason our bras don’t always match our underwear is because we actually change our underwear.
2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet bowl.
3. If we’re watching football with you, it’s not bonding. We’re watching because of the cute butts.
4. Don’t fret if you find out that the milkman delivers more than once a day.
5. Please don’t drive when you’re not driving.
6. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
7. Our bedtime headaches are inversely proportional to the number of baths that you take.
8. If only women gossip, how do you and your buddies keep track of "Who’s easy?"
9. Stop telling us that most male strippers are gay. We dont' care.
10. Your contributions to your child should go above and beyond that chromosome you unselfishly sacrificed.
11. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder level.