My favorites:
"Outside od a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, of course, it's too dark to read."
"Modern television programming has made me a more literate person. Every time someone turns on the television, I go in the other room and read a book."
and how can we forget:
"One night, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know!"
Or:
"I want you boys to go out on the field tonight and play just the way you did last week. I've got fifty bucks riding on the other team."
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