1. The reason our bras don’t always match our underwear is because we actually change our underwear.And I change mine once a week so what is your prob?
2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet bowl.I don't joke cause the ones I know can kick my butt.
3. If we’re watching football with you, it’s not bonding. We’re watching because of the cute butts.And for some guys so are they, so don't get all pressy.
4. Don’t fret if you find out that the milkman delivers more than once a day.Or the U.P.S. girl is over here more then she should be.
5. Please don’t drive when you’re not driving.This I have onothing to say about.
6. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.Butt thats the only reason why I hold your head under the covers.
7. Our bedtime headaches are inversely proportional to the number of baths that you take.[Ewwkieeeee, that is even sick for me.]
8. If only women gossip, how do you and your buddies keep track of "Who’s easy?"Honey don't know about my buddies, I just come up to them and ask, " do you wanna fuck?"
9. Stop telling us that most male strippers are gay. We dont' care.ok, got me there i know.
10. Your contributions to your child should go above and beyond that chromosome you unselfishly sacrificed.BULLSHIT SHE forced it out of me!
11. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder level.What? ? ?
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