didn't know where else to put these so I brought them here lol
PERSONAL ADS THAT WERE NEVER ANSWERED
SWM: Roommate needed for six-bedroom north side condo
$800/ month plus 1/2 utilities. Must enjoy garlic
taxidermy & clock repair
SWF: Seeks any M, age 16-52
for immediate marriage
Willing to beg. Call 24/hours,
7/days 1-800-I'm-4you
SWM: 39, enjoys assault rifles
heavy drinking, and testosterone
Seeks like-minded SF, W only
to listen to political conspiracy theories
and help stock secluded mountain shelter
Don't bother to write, I already know where you live
SWF: 25, enjoys poetry recitals, interpretive dance
herb tea, New Age music, Silversmithing
Communing with Gaian nature spirits
and Jello sculpting
Seeks aloof, analytic whimp
SWM: 59, wide range of interests including
Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica
Power Rangers, and Sea Quest
ISO compatible F
SM: Seeking an adventurous SF Interested
in underwater bondage with or w/o scuba gear
And albino livestock breeding
No weirdos please
SBM: Vegetarian Truck-driving Republican juggler
Wishes to meet woman of similar interests
Must be ambidextrous
DWF: Crazy ppl Need Love Too
If you enjoy destroying good furniture
Police lineups and locking your friends in closets
we already have three things in common!
Let's get together
DWM: Compulsive Liar seeks beautiful woman
to share my million dollar Riviera chateau
Visa Gold Card a must
Private plane a plus
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