Dear Bruce!

[brilor]

Extracts from the problem page of the famous Australian men's magazine
"Cobblers",starring the legendary "Uncle Bruce,"... the " agony aunt with
Balls"

Q. Dear Bruce I have some lucky condoms that I keep in my wallet. I am
beginning to wonder if they really are lucky as they have been there for
two months.
A. Jesus mate, no worries. Men only use rubbers when they are sober anyway.
Guess that means you've been p*ssed for two months which makes you one
lucky b@st@rd ! Just on a medical note rubbers are good when you do an Abo
as they are smelly b@st@rds, Oh and Roos too, helps avoid bush rash.

Q. Dear Bruce my girlfriend got upset when I suggested I use an old
girlfriend's vibrater on her.
A. No worries. I've seen this before. Women need reassuring. Tell the
stupid bitch that you have cleaned it since you last used it. Sometimes
Sheila's get hung up on hygiene.

Q. Dear Bruce, After my last Hockey game I got an erection in the showers.
Is this normal , I am a single guy and like girls.
A. Nah mate you're queer. Only queers play hockey.

Q .Dear Bruce, my wife says I don't use enough lubricant before we have
s*x.
A. Exactly how many beers are you drinking before you root her?

Q. Dear Bruce , I am beginning to suspect I am gay. I wear leather trousers
and have just grown a Freddie Mercury mustache. I don't know who to Turn
to.
A. Get a grip of yourself man. Face facts, be logical: You're queer, no one
likes you , get a gun, blow your brains out.

Q. Dear Bruce my girl friend says we don't do enough foreplay.
A. Geez mate, you had me stumped for a bit. I didn't recognise the word
Foreplay. Then it struck me, Fore is what you shout in golf.. Jeez guy, men
don't play golf with women but it's OK for her practise putting with your
dick.

Q. Dear Bruce, I fooled around with a Kiwi and now I have a dose. What do I
do ?
A. Deny ,deny, deny, deny, deny and never ever ,ever, ever ,ever admit to
going with a kiwi.

Q. Bruce the boys are telling me there is such a thing as Dingo s*x. What
is it ?
A. You wake up next to an ugly Sheila and you chew your arm off to escape
rather than wake her, just like a dingo caught in a trap.

[squirt]

boy ... he's a real wiener!!! lol