05-26-2008, 02:12 AM
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#521 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ah...rella like cinderella
Posts: 127,613
Rep Power: 5911   |
Did you hear that Viagra now comes in a nasal spray?
It's for Dickheads! What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? A scrotum pole! LMFAO!!! |
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05-26-2008, 01:09 PM
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#522 (permalink) |
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Super Moderator
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 355,993
Rep Power: 8572 |
A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are. "Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life," he tells her, by way of poetic concealment. She tells this to her mother, who replies, "Did he say anything about that dead branch they're hanging on?"
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05-26-2008, 05:24 PM
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#524 (permalink) |
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Super Moderator
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 355,993
Rep Power: 8572 |
Miss Burnside from the East side sat on the far side of her bed side putting peroxide on the front side of her bottom side because on the hole, men prefer blondes
--------------------------------- Charlie phoned Shirley to invite her out for a lamb dinner. "What do you mean, a lamb dinner?" asked Shin somewhat puzzled. "Three cocktails and a piece of ewe," He replied --------------------------------- Two drunks are at a bar, drinking up a storm. One drunk says to the other drunk, “Did you sleep with my wife last night?” To which the other drunk replies, “Not a wink.” --------------------------------- Two dyslexic bank robbers walk into a bank shouting: "Air in the hands motherstickers, this is a f**kup!" --------------------------------- A professor was taking in the scene at a popular L. A. nightspot when a mini-skirted Valley Girl sashayed over to him and said, "Like, I want you to totally screw my brains out." "Sorry," he replied, "I'm not into quickies" --------------------------------- Pickup lines and rebuttals: Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason." Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!" --------------------------------- What do you call a condom in a nursing home? Software --------------------------------- How did the tugboat get AIDs? It was rear-ended by a ferry --------------------------------- Said Lady B to her butler "My dear, Aren't you just the tiniest bit queer?" Answered he in surprise "Ma'am I thought you realized, Servants always come in through the rear" --------------------------------- She was only a Archer's daughter, and her sheath made men quiver |
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05-26-2008, 05:26 PM
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#525 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ah...rella like cinderella
Posts: 127,613
Rep Power: 5911 |
Two dyslexic bank robbers walk into a bank shouting: "Air in the hands motherstickers, this is a f**kup!"
LMFAO! I wonder if some of these things really happened! 
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05-26-2008, 05:33 PM
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#526 (permalink) |
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Super Moderator
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 355,993
Rep Power: 8572 |
it's sure fun to think so! lmfao
Is your gay son the fruit of your loins?
------------------------------------ Nadine: Were your parents upset when you got a divorce? Jill: Well, you know how parents are. My mother said, "SO! Is this how it's going to be? Just one man after another.. for the rest of your life?" Nadine: Typical! What did you tell her? Jill: I said, "Gee, I hope so!" ------------------------------------ I know I'm really good in bed because women always ask me if there's any possible way I could make it last longer ------------------------------------ A few days after refusing to sleep with her boss, the secretary stormed into his office. "My salary's been cut in half!" she shrieked." "That's right," the boss replied, "haven't you ever heard of a withholding tax?" ------------------------------------ Why did God give women nipples? To make suckers out of men ------------------------------------ Why do blondes tattoo their zipcode under their belly button? So they can get the male into the right box ------------------------------------ How is music like your sex life? Three-quarter is swing time, one-quarter is ragtime ------------------------------------ Head: The taste of things to come ------------------------------------ Foreploy: Misrepresenting yourself on a date in hopes of getting lucky ------------------------------------ She was only a Baker's daughter, but she knew how to roll in the flowers |
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05-26-2008, 05:38 PM
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#527 (permalink) |
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Super Moderator
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 355,993
Rep Power: 8572 |
Love means never having to say, "Does that twenty include the spanking?"
----------------------------------- To truly love another, you must first love yourself. And it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either ----------------------------------- A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from bathroom with an urgent report. "Bill, listen," he told the host, "Doug's in the kitchen making love to your wife!" "OK, that's it, guys," Bill said. "This is positively the last deal." ----------------------------------- Speaking at a staff meeting, a very pert and pretty female engineer told the male manager of the division, "I'd like to get something off my chest." "What's that?" "Your eyes." ----------------------------------- In a new sex survey they found that 8 percent of people had sex four or more times a week. Now here is the interesting part. That number drops to 2 percent when you add the phrase, "With partner." ----------------------------------- At the end of our first date, he told me he wanted me for a friend. Then, on the second date, he brought the friend! ----------------------------------- Why do men love blowjobs so much? They love all jobs they can lay back and watch a woman do ----------------------------------- Why don't homosexuals like chess? Because every so often, they have to sacrifice a queen ----------------------------------- There's a tavern in London that's staffed By a barmaid who's tops at her craft In her striving to please She serves ale on her knees So the patrons get head with their draft ----------------------------------- She was only a Bookbinder's daughter, but she knew her way between the sheets |
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05-26-2008, 05:42 PM
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#528 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ah...rella like cinderella
Posts: 127,613
Rep Power: 5911 |
To truly love another, you must first love yourself. And it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either
ROFLMFAO!!! No! Licking them ooff is not ok! 
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05-26-2008, 08:28 PM
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#530 (permalink) |
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Super Moderator
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 355,993
Rep Power: 8572 |
A cowboy and his wife had just been married and went to a hotel for their honeymoon. The man went to the front desk and asked for a room. He said, "This here is a very special 'casion -- our weddin' night and we need a very special room with a strong bed." The clerk winked and asked, "Do you want the Bridal?" The cowboy thought about it a while and then replied, "No, I guess not. I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets used to it."
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