short but sweet ... - Page 92

**squirt** · 10-22-2009, 10:53 PM

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me.
One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in
her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've
never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they
could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity,
Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?

Dear Abby,
I have a man I can't trust.
He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman
who has been on the pill for two years.
It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half
the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby,
I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around,
and when confronted with the evidence,
he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo.
Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against
his own?

Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world.
I've seen it. Now how do I get out?

Dear Abby,
My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist
$50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years.
He must be crazy.

Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months
and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short tempered.
I think she is going through mental pause.

Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to
send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and
he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

konifur2 · 10-23-2009, 04:21 AM

Dear konifur,
What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity,
Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?

konifur;buy a dvd you tight ass better quality picture.

Dear konifur,
I have a man I can't trust.
He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

konifur ;get your own back spend the night with me.

Dear konifur,
I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman
who has been on the pill for two years.
It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half
the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

konifur; save money and buy a box of Smarties and hold one firmly between your knees before and during sex.

Dear konifur,
I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around,
and when confronted with the evidence,
he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

get your own back spend the night with me.

Dear konifur,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo.
Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against
his own?

konifur;don`t you worry about him,come and spend the night with me.

Dear konifur,
I joined the Navy to see the world.
I've seen it. Now how do I get out?

konifur; shag the cabin boy.

Dear konifur,
My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist
$50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years.
He must be crazy.

konifur; tell him to come and see me i only charge $100 an hour.

Dear konifur,
I was married to Bill for three months
and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

konifur: don`t worry about Bill, come and spend the night with me and bring one of his bottles of booze with you.

Dear konifur,
My mother is mean and short tempered.
I think she is going through mental pause.

konifur; tell her to PISS OFF!!!!! then come and spend the night with me but first steal her money and give it to me.

Dear konifur,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to
send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and
he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

konifur; send him to another doctor and come and spend the night with me.

**squirt** · 10-23-2009, 03:44 PM

lmao ... Bravo! lol

**squirt** · 10-23-2009, 07:45 PM

Harry and His wife were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy morning. Harry suddenly said, "Dear, if I were to die unexpectedly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff." "Now why would you want me to do something like that?" asked his wife. "I figure that you would eventually remarry, and I don't want some other asshole using my stuff." His wife looked at Harry and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"

**squirt** · 10-28-2009, 11:21 PM

A little boy came home from playing outside one day. He was huffing and puffing, like he was winded. All of sudden, the boy's father heard a kitten squalling like it was extremely uncomfortable. He turned around and looked. Sure enough, there's his son -- holding a kitten - obviously no more than 6 weeks old! "What have you got there, son?" "It's especially for you, Dad," the boy replied. The father asked, "What do you mean?" "Remember the other night, you told Mom you wanted 'a little pussy?' "Well, I heard you, and I went out and got you one!"

roosterowl1 · 11-01-2009, 06:15 AM

What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl? A cock that stays up all night!

**squirt** · 11-01-2009, 01:09 PM

well, that explains your screen name lol

**squirt** · 11-08-2009, 08:00 PM

The woman at the supermarket checkout was giving the clerk a hard time. As her audience in the waiting line increased, she became more abusive. Finally, the patient clerk came to a dog's flea collar. The checker asked the customer if she was aware that the package had been opened. "Of course," the woman snapped. "I opened it. You can't expect me to get it home and find out it's the wrong size." A voice from the line spoke for all of us: "Wear it in good health."

**squirt** · 11-12-2009, 07:21 PM

Three guys met at the local bar.
They were discussing the events of the day.
After a few hours, one guy ordered buffalo wings.
He offered them to the other two.
First guy accepted.
The second guy said he didn't eat anything that has a face.
The first guy said, that must really piss off your wife.

**squirt** · 11-15-2009, 09:07 PM

A fat man was seated on his front steps drinking a can of beer when a busybody spinster from down the street began to berate him for his appearance. "What a disgusting sight," she said. "If that belly was on a woman, I'd swear she was pregnant." To which the man smiled and replied, "Madam, it was and she is."

10-23-2009, 04:21 AM	#912 (permalink)
konifur2 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Sunderland, England Posts: 4,839 Rep Power: 1680	dear konifur Dear konifur, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR? konifur;buy a dvd you tight ass better quality picture. Dear konifur, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his. konifur ;get your own back spend the night with me. Dear konifur, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him. konifur; save money and buy a box of Smarties and hold one firmly between your knees before and during sex. Dear konifur, I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again. get your own back spend the night with me. Dear konifur, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own? konifur;don`t you worry about him,come and spend the night with me. Dear konifur, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out? konifur; shag the cabin boy. Dear konifur, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy. konifur; tell him to come and see me i only charge $100 an hour. Dear konifur, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober. konifur: don`t worry about Bill, come and spend the night with me and bring one of his bottles of booze with you. Dear konifur, My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she is going through mental pause. konifur; tell her to PISS OFF!!!!! then come and spend the night with me but first steal her money and give it to me. Dear konifur, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do? konifur; send him to another doctor and come and spend the night with me. __________________

11-01-2009, 06:15 AM	#916 (permalink)
roosterowl1 Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: village on the hill Posts: 662 Rep Power: 523	What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl? A cock that stays up all night! __________________

Jokeroo

My Account

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10-22-2009, 10:53 PM	#911 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,673 Rep Power: 8572	A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese? Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR? Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his. Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him. Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again. Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own? Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out? Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy. Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober. Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she is going through mental pause. Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

10-23-2009, 03:44 PM	#913 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,673 Rep Power: 8572	lmao ... Bravo! lol

10-23-2009, 07:45 PM	#914 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,673 Rep Power: 8572	Harry and His wife were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy morning. Harry suddenly said, "Dear, if I were to die unexpectedly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff." "Now why would you want me to do something like that?" asked his wife. "I figure that you would eventually remarry, and I don't want some other asshole using my stuff." His wife looked at Harry and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"

10-28-2009, 11:21 PM	#915 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,673 Rep Power: 8572	A little boy came home from playing outside one day. He was huffing and puffing, like he was winded. All of sudden, the boy's father heard a kitten squalling like it was extremely uncomfortable. He turned around and looked. Sure enough, there's his son -- holding a kitten - obviously no more than 6 weeks old! "What have you got there, son?" "It's especially for you, Dad," the boy replied. The father asked, "What do you mean?" "Remember the other night, you told Mom you wanted 'a little pussy?' "Well, I heard you, and I went out and got you one!"

11-01-2009, 01:09 PM	#917 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,673 Rep Power: 8572	well, that explains your screen name lol

11-08-2009, 08:00 PM	#918 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,673 Rep Power: 8572	The woman at the supermarket checkout was giving the clerk a hard time. As her audience in the waiting line increased, she became more abusive. Finally, the patient clerk came to a dog's flea collar. The checker asked the customer if she was aware that the package had been opened. "Of course," the woman snapped. "I opened it. You can't expect me to get it home and find out it's the wrong size." A voice from the line spoke for all of us: "Wear it in good health."

11-12-2009, 07:21 PM	#919 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,673 Rep Power: 8572	Three guys met at the local bar. They were discussing the events of the day. After a few hours, one guy ordered buffalo wings. He offered them to the other two. First guy accepted. The second guy said he didn't eat anything that has a face. The first guy said, that must really piss off your wife.

11-15-2009, 09:07 PM	#920 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,673 Rep Power: 8572	A fat man was seated on his front steps drinking a can of beer when a busybody spinster from down the street began to berate him for his appearance. "What a disgusting sight," she said. "If that belly was on a woman, I'd swear she was pregnant." To which the man smiled and replied, "Madam, it was and she is."