09-24-2009, 08:43 PM
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#538 (permalink) |
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Super Moderator
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 355,975
Rep Power: 8572   |
YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO GO HOME WHEN ...
- You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are - You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies room - You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass - In your last trip to pee you realize you now look more like TammyFaye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago - You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating - You start crying - There are less than three hours before you're due to start work - You've found a deeper side to the office nerd - The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher - The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming - You've forgotten where you live - You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the 60 cigarettes you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned like 10 times by now) you only smoke when you drink - You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin or vodka - You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza - You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong way but ..." - You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it - Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves - You're tired so you just sit on the floor. (and why not!) - You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really want to |
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