01-20-2005, 05:09 PM
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Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2003
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Men Bashing Jokes
Men Bashing Jokes
What can a bird do that a man can't? Whistle through its pecker. Why did the man cross the road? He heard the chicken was a slut. Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask directions. Why did God put men on earth? Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn. Why don't women have men's brains? Because they don't have penises to keep them in. What is the insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man. What's the difference between government bonds and men? Bonds mature. What's the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home. How are men like noodles? They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough. Why do men like BMWs? They can spell it. What do a vagina, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them. Why are men like popcorn? They satisfy you, but only for a little while. Why are men and spray paint alike? One squeeze and they're all over you. Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why. Why is food better than men? Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds. Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay. Why do men like frozen microwave dinners so much? They like being able to both eat and make love in under 5 minutes. Why would women be better off if men treated them like cars? At least then they would get a little attention every 6 months or 50,000 miles, whichever came first. What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date? Slow. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, men will screw anything. Why do men have a hole in their penis? So oxygen can get to their brains. What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink. What do ceramic tile and men have in common? If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for life!
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