Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas. You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway. Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can. You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd. On special occasions
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms. Still them fellers at work
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe. Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can. Yo're as cute as a junebug
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed. Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life more
than a fresh load of dirt. When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack. Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'. Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank. Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way. Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
That's impressive," I say. Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth. But for this man, honey,
these just won't do.
Cause yo're too special,
you sweet thang you. I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds...
it's a new troll'n motor!!