Jokeroo Community - Blogs http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/ The top place to meet great friends with a sense of humor! en Mon, 23 Nov 2009 06:50:56 GMT vBulletin 60 http://board.jokeroo.com/jokeroov2/misc/rss.jpg Jokeroo Community - Blogs http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/ Murder for Veiwing - written by Me! http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/100-bitch/79-murder-veiwing-written-me.html Sun, 15 Nov 2009 16:24:06 GMT
Murder for Veiwing
written by Michelle Thorpe

Chapter One

Amelia's Veiwpoint


I stared at the blank screen in front of me. I was staring at the computer for

nearly half an hour, waiting for my muse to visit me. I felt frustrated and began to

struggle to think of a good plot or even an opening paragraph. Even the three month

old baby, remained silent. I stood up from my seat and slipped on my coat and shoes,

hoping that a brisk walk would spark an idea or two.

I grabbed my cell phone, strapped the baby in to the buggy and then took her to my sister's

house for a few hours. I left my sister's only a few minutes later,

not stopping to have a cup of tea or say hello. I needed to be alone

for a while to be able to think. My sister didn't ask questions,

she knows my routine when I am fishing for inspiration.

It wasn't long until I reached the town centre. I could see a crowd of people,

gathering excitedly outside the cinema. "There must be a new film out or something?" I

muttered to myself. It appeared that someone was listening to me. "Not a film. There

hasn't been a good film out in months." A man said, scratching his uncombed hair.

"Not a good film? Hmm... What else could it be?" I asked him.

"There has been a murder." He reported.

"A murder? Oh no!" I gasped. The town had always been rough, but there had

never been a murder.

"Yeah" he yawned, "Some homeless guy got stabbed. It was me that called the

police. I don't like having dead guys sleeping on my doorstep. It's just not natural is it?"

I bit my lip, thinking for a moment. This guy could be a good source for some plot ideas.

"What's your name?" I asked, almost too eagerly.

"My name is Kip, but my friends call me Skippa." He replied, taking a bow.

"My name is Amelia. Nice to meet you." I said, shaking Skippa's rough, unwashed

hands. After saying goodbye to my new friend, I ran off to seek the crime scene. I got

out my phone and approached the crime scene with care. There was a man, laying in a

pool of blood. The knife still stood erected out of the victim's chest. I took a picture and

then looked around. The police all had their backs turned, trying to control the growing

crowd. I took a picture of every piece of the scene. There could be something I didn't

see, the pictures taken would surely pick anything up. After getting my fill of death, I

swept away my footprints and replaced it with a single footprint. The footprint would

lead the police to my door, and me into the investigation. I slipped out back into the

growing crowd and went home to transfer the pictures to a computer for a closer look.


Mack's Veiwpoint



I sighed and took one last look at the dispersing crowd. I was glad that people had

begun to get bored of staring flatly at a corpse. I took out my camera and then began to

take pictures of the crime scene. Now that people had begun to walk away, I was finally

allowed to investigate and get to work. I carefully pulled a large

knife from the victim's chest, before searching for an idenitity card. There was a wallet

inside of a leather coat pocket. "Adam Rust" I muttered, "Sorry dude."

After taking a few pictures, I came across a footprint. I got down on one knee to take a

closer look. That's odd, I thought. There was only one print. It was fresh, and could have

come from the killer. I looked a little longer, estimating the shoe size of the print. It was

too small for a male's print. I took a photograph and then wiped my sleeve across my

forehead. I wondered who the footprint belonged to and why there was only one print.

The biggest question though was, does the print belong to the killer?

I looked at the crime scene, from where the print was found. It was a perfect view of the

scene. The mobile was still gripped in Adam's hand and there was a set of keys laying on

the floor next to the body.

Suddenly, my trouser pocket began to vibrate and ring. I pulled out my phone, glancing

at the screen. It was a text message from an unknown number. It read: Come to 123,

Doormat Drive. I have some information that you need- and want.

I stared at the message, wondering how anyone got hold of my number. I got into my

car and began to drive away. The Correnor zipped up the body, as I drove past. My first

destination was 123, Doormat Drive.

As I arrived at the block of flats, I looked for the number I needed. I couldn't see it.

I searched the area until my eyes finally rested on a small appartment opposite the block

of flats. Feeling feverish, I walked up to the property and knocked on the front door. I

was alone, and wished that I had called for back up.


Chapter Two


Amelia's Veiwpoint



I connected my phone to the computer, then imported the crime scene pictures on to it. Then just as I clicked

the zoom button, there was a knock on the door. "It's open!" I called out. The door opened slowly and a

policeman walked in. "Hello Mack." I greeted, without turning around.

"How did you know it was me? Are you the person who sent me the text?" Mack questioned.

"Yes, a friend of mine from the police force gave me your number. I had to be sure you would come."

"What do you mean?" he asked, looking rather confounded.

"The footprint may not have been enough to get your attention, though there was only one single print."

"Yes, I did wonder why there was only one print." He mused, scratching his head.

"Look at the screen, tell me what you see." I probed.

Mack looked carefully at the picture on the screen. Then, I zoomed in again.

"I don't see anything, other than the crime scene."

I sighed, I began to think the cop wasn't too smart.

"There is a white ring on the victim's finger, where a ring use to be. Also, don't you think it is odd that the

victim managed to keep hold of the phone, but not the keys?"

Mack thought for a moment, "Good point."

"Now, we just need to find out his name." I frowned. Mack looked at me, grinning widely.

"I can answer that. His name is Adam Rust."

"I'm sure that I have heard that name before." I muttered, mostly to myself.

I clicked on to the internet and typed the name into the search engine.

"Look, he has a relative, Jane Rust." I cheered.

"Let's go pay her a visit."

"Shouldn't you go to the mortuary first? You know, for the time of death?" I suggested.

"Oh yeah, good idea."

"I'll print off some pictures of the crime scene, something in them may be important."

"OK, I will come back for you so we can go visit the relatives together."

I walked into the kitchen to make some drinks.

"Would you like a cup of tea before you go to see the Coroner?" I offered.

"No thank-you. I only drink black coffee."

"Oh" I said, feeling rejected. "Would you like some coffee then?"

"Yes please, if you wouldn't mind."

"I don't mind at all." I grinned, switching on the kettle. I got out two large cups and filled

both cups with a teaspoon of coffee granduals. "Do you have any sugar with your

coffee?"

"Just the one." Mack replied. I frowned, something had distracted him.

"Are you OK?" I asked, filling the cups with sugar and hot water. I stirred the cups and

took the coffees' to the dining table.

"Yes, I am just thinking about the position of the body."

"Hmm... I am pretty sure that the body was moved."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I walked over to the front door, and peered

through the small peep hole. It was my neighbour, Jessie. Jessie is an old, feeble

woman, who likes spreading gossip. "Yes Jessie, how can I help you?"

Jessie poked her head in through the opening door. "Oh I say, you have a man in your

home. You should be ashamed of yourself, you are not a married woman!" Then she

turned round and strutted off in a huff. She would no doubt tell the rest of the

neighbours about my company.

I sighed and closed the door. "Isn't there a law against slander?"

Mack chuckled to himself, "She does not approve of male friends then?"

I laughed, "No, she thinks that it is impossible to be friends with men, without having to

sleep with them." Mack raised his eye brows.

"I think, it would depend on the company." laughing, he began to blush.

Mack sipped at his coffee, listening to the awkward silence that began to fill the room.

"I better go and see the Coroner." he said, and then quickly left the premises.

Before I had the chance to say goodbye, I heard the door slam shut.


Doc's Veiwpoint



Mack arrived at the autopsy room and hovered over Adam's lifeless body.

"Are you here for the victim?" I asked. Mack looked at me, waiting for a report.

"Yes. His name is Adam Rust. I am guessing that it was the knife that killed him." He

probed.

"Yes, but the wounds were rather shallow. There wasn't a lot of strength behind the

knife." I told him.

"What do you mean? It wasn't very deep?"

"The person holding the knife was not very strong. It narrows your search down to

either a child or a woman."

"A woman could have killed him?" he asked, looking bewildered.

"Yes, maybe it was a jealous rage or even a lovers quarrel." I mused. After thinking for a

moment, I shook my head. "Either way, it is your job to find the motive - not mine."

"OK." he sighed, "Do you know the time of death yet?"

"Don't I always?" I chuckled lightly. "This man died about eight hours ago. That puts the

time at roughly 6 a.m."

"Thanks Doc," Mack cheered. Mack turned round and walked out of the building.
]]> 100%Bitch http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/100-bitch/79-murder-veiwing-written-me.html Four Months and Growing http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/100-bitch/78-four-months-growing.html Sun, 15 Nov 2009 16:06:42 GMT
Natasha-Rose Penny Mackenzie is four months old now.

She already has a tooth cutting through.

We also have just started feeding her twice a day.

She loves porridge, yogurts, and sweet potato and beef pie.

At the moment, she is having bannana flavoured porridge.

It's disgusting- but she likes it. . . Strange baby. LOL!
 ]]> 100%Bitch http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/100-bitch/78-four-months-growing.html Going through soo much... http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/takinmylyfeback/77-going-through-soo-much.html Sun, 08 Nov 2009 05:10:57 GMT Well, as some of you already know, I have been going through sooo much lately, that it kept me from showing up here much...but Im back...and still working alot, for as long as I have the job...and working on the problems at home too... D is doing alot better, in fact, sometimes I feel like he is absoluetly smothering me...UGH!!!:withstupi but I guess thats what I get for begging for so much attention...Hell, all I wanted was just a little affection now and then, not for you to have your head stuck so far up my ass that you couldnt breath..and that my hemmrhoids flare up to the size of grapefruits...shit, do us both a favor, and find something productive to do...Hahahahaa.... Or could it be that this is his way of punishing me for putting him through the whole kicking him out of the house and making him look stupid to the entire town of Alto??? Oh well, if it is...Im really enjoying watching him run around like a chicken with his head cut off trying to please me.... Hahahahaha Image: http://www.ventedspleen.com/chicken_clr_final.jpg Well, as some of you already know, I have been going through sooo much lately, that it kept me from showing up here much...but Im back...and still working alot, for as long as I have the job...and working on the problems at home too...

D is doing alot better, in fact, sometimes I feel like he is absoluetly smothering me...UGH!!!:withstupi but I guess thats what I get for begging for so much attention...Hell, all I wanted was just a little affection now and then, not for you to have your head stuck so far up my ass that you couldnt breath..and that my hemmrhoids flare up to the size of grapefruits...shit, do us both a favor, and find something productive to do...Hahahahaa....

Or could it be that this is his way of punishing me for putting him through the whole kicking him out of the house and making him look stupid to the entire town of Alto??? Oh well, if it is...Im really enjoying watching him run around like a chicken with his head cut off trying to please me....

Hahahahaha

]]> TakinMyLyfeBack http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/takinmylyfeback/77-going-through-soo-much.html Observations http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/flynn/76-observations.html Sat, 07 Nov 2009 12:43:42 GMT Cultured pearls on a beautiful woman are two things that deserve each other. Cultured pearls on a beautiful woman are two things that deserve each other. ]]> Flynn http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/flynn/76-observations.html Soulful, Mournful (for a Picture Challenge) http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/nympheas/75-soulful-mournful-picture-challenge.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 04:45:15 GMT this was for a picture challenge and a music challenge :) Image: http://x69.xanga.com/f4ab027241110255834996/m60254333.jpg * Soulful, Mournful* (tumbling tercets) uncertainty guides my fingers gently tracing broken chords and heady silence. dare I dwell on mournful moments, hesitate on the tracks of my tears... or give ear to a soulful resonance whilst learning to breathe. hearing lyrics within... insistent... awakening clarity. © 2009 (All rights reserved) 10/22/09
this was for a picture challenge
and a music challenge :)




Soulful, Mournful
(tumbling tercets)




uncertainty guides my fingers
gently tracing broken chords
and heady silence. dare I dwell

on mournful moments, hesitate
on the tracks of my tears... or
give ear to a soulful resonance

whilst learning to breathe.
hearing lyrics within...
insistent... awakening clarity.



© 2009 (All rights reserved) 10/22/09 ]]> Nympheas http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/nympheas/75-soulful-mournful-picture-challenge.html Observations http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/flynn/74-observations.html Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:34:19 GMT An individual cry in the wilderness of life is akin to a tree falling in a forest of human despair. No one sees the communal forest because their personal trees block the view. An individual cry in the wilderness of life is akin to a tree falling in a forest of human despair.

No one sees the communal forest because their personal trees block the view. ]]> Flynn http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/flynn/74-observations.html The Eye in the Sky http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/shkeeptareh/73-eye-sky.html Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:13:27 GMT its funny how easily depression kicks in when you're bored and sleepy. actually there's a million things i could be doing. i SHOULD be doing but i have NO motivation. i feel like there is no point. how much more can i stand?

Of class, Of work, Of Life?

i need a nap...

i usually wake up happier... ]]> Shkeeptareh http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/shkeeptareh/73-eye-sky.html <![CDATA[I've got superman's dick!]]> http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/dangerously/72-ive-got-supermans-dick.html Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:30:12 GMT I have to visit my Doctor every six months or so to regulate some pills that I take. They tell me without these pills, “I’ll DIE.” So while it may be an inconvenience, it’s something I have to do, so I do. On one occasion, I set up my appointment and upon getting there learned that my regular doctor just happened to be on vacation so another Doctor agreed to see me. The Doctor that agreed to see me just happened to be a female. I’ve never been one to get embarrassed easily, so her asking me to take my shirt off, cough, do the cold stethoscope and two fingers tap on the back thing didn’t bother me. After this minor inspection that all doctors do, she reviewed my chart and told me the same old thing that I always hear at physicals. You need to drop a few pounds, quit smoking, exercise more and give the caffeine a break. It always amazes me that Doctors always seem to take my top ten list of things that I enjoy doing and then request I stop doing them. Go figure! Then out of nowhere my female doctor asked me a question that completely caught me off guard. “How’s your sex life are you having any problems?” WHAT THE FUCK? My first reaction was, why have you heard something? Have you been talking to my lovely wife? Has she complained? I guess she noticed I was completely taken back by this question, so she quickly explained to me the question by saying that some men my age start having “Difficulties” during sex. Again, my Wife came to mind, I thought I was doing great in this area but maybe I’m not as good as I think. Had she said something? Anyway THANK GOD the female Doctor was looking me in the eye when she made this comment, if she had been looking at my crotch at the time, I think I would have cried. The “MEN MY AGE” comment did bother me a bit, it made me feel somewhat older, but I figured I’d let that one slide. It was the “difficulties” thing that bothered me. What “difficulties” was she referring to? It was then that I thought this was just too good a chance to pass up on. How often do you get to discuss fornication with a person of the opposite sex that you don’t know? And a young attractive female Doctor no less! I’m always willing to learn new things. So yes, I had to run with this! Difficulties, you say? To what may you be referring? Surely she’s not suggesting older guys such as my self forget what goes where? I believe I’m still up on the female anatomy road map. My wife’s belly button is still in its original shape. It’s never crossed my mind to stop and ask directions during sex! Head south past the belly button…I know this! “What possibly could you mean Doctor?” I asked. The Doctor followed up her “Difficulties” comment with, “Some men have trouble with their Penis maintaining an erection.” Wow! We’re going to talk about ERECTIONS! Suddenly I realized I could listen to this woman saying the word Penis or erections all day! If I knew she wouldn’t find it inappropriate, I would have asked her to repeat the penis statement, over and over. Penis, penis, penis, penis, those words coming from her mouth, rolling off her tongue, yes I could listen all day! She then asked me if I would be interested in a prescription for Viagra. The quicker picker upper! The blue pill with the thrill! Suddenly a million questions flooded my mind. Viagra! Ah, another can of worms to open. Now we’re getting somewhere. I couldn’t help but ask her how they work. She responded by telling me the technicalities of taking the little blue pills. “You should take it approximately an hour before having sex. The effects can last up to six hours, however if I should happen to have an erection for more than six hours I should contact my Physician. Side effects include, flushing, headaches and sometimes an upset stomach.” The questions in my mind continued to build. One, rarely does my Wife give me an hours notice before we have sex. I can’t think of a time she has ever given me a countdown. Honey, we’re going to have sex in T minus 57 minutes and counting. Take your Blue pill and get that pecker ready for blast off! Sex with us is usually more of a spur of the moment kind of thing. Sitting on the couch listening to music, a little cuddling begins, kisses here and there start happening and then…lift off! Two, a hard on can last up to six hours? If only I could live up to that kind of promise! At my age, the after meal cuddling, a little foreplay and the actual sex act lasts a couple of hours at best. 20 minutes tops if she’s wearing that nurses outfit that I gave her! (I sure do like that outfit!) After two hours, a coronary would probably set in. After three, they would be hitting me with the electric paddles. Any more time than that and my penis isn’t hard from the blue pills, it’s due to rigamortis has set in. Also in regards to having an erection for 6 hours, don’t I wish? If this happens call my Doctor? Hell, I’m calling all of my old girlfriends from high school! Putting a full-page ad out in my local paper! Shoot, I’d have that puppy out showing it to everybody! Yep, that’s right! Been this way for six hours! In regards to the side effects, my horniness wins over an upset stomach and a headache any day. Give me a migraine, a full-blown gas attack and a super charged hard on at the same time and I’m still banging somebody. So, I have no problem with the side effects. I still had other questions for her. How does the excess blood know where to go? Why don’t my fingers just go hard instead of my penis? I figure I’ve got just the right amount of blood in my system in order for my body to work perfectly. So if blood rushes to my wand of pleasure, does it short me somewhere else? In other words will my toes go numb or will my tongue get all screwy? What tells the blood, OK, you can stop going to the penis now? Can your penis become over engorged and possibly explode? What happens if I take more than the recommended dosage? Does a SUPERMAN HARD ON occur? Can I hurt somebody with this thing? Can I go sexually mad from lack of blood going to the brain? She was starting to get a little agitated with me, her response was simply; ask your regular Doctor when he gets back. I think she’d figured me out and had had enough of me. I told her I’d take the pills. The first time I took them it was amazing. My average loyal subject dick quickly became KING of all dicks. To steal a line from Eddie Murphy, when under the influence of this little blue pill, my dick gets hard when the wind blows. Mention a word that has the letters s-e-x in it and boing, Dan we have a problem. The letters don’t even have to be in the correct order. That’s all it takes. This makes it embarrassing in public places. You find yourself keeping your hands in your pockets…A LOT! You have a tendency to sit closer to the table at restaurants. The phrase “Down boy!” becomes a major part of your vocabulary. Also, going to a public restroom is a definite no no. Men generally get upset with you when you’ve got a raging hard on at the urinal beside them. Not cool! The act of peeing itself is almost impossible if not terribly difficult. With your penis a full mast, you have to gauge how far back from the urinal you need to be for the arch of your pee to actually land in it. You then must continually adjust your stance going forward and backward, depending on the velocity of your spray. That is if your spray is a stream and not a seven directional fountain, which does seem to happen at these moments. This is another thing that has a tendency to upset the person standing beside you. Hopefully those aren’t new shoes he’s wearing. And the SEX! Oh my God if a rocket had this much thrust we’d have visited Mars by now, wait we’ve visited mars, then some other planet! On the blue pill you have explosive capabilities. Jack Hammers are pale in comparison to your new found abilities. I now have a new nickname for my penis…The Pillar of Pleasure! To my Wife, I am now a GOD! All mortal penises should worship mine! Anyway I digress; it was an interesting Doctor’s visit. It was full of useful information and a whole lotta smiles. I am still waiting for that time though where I get to place that full-page ad in the paper. “Dan’s dick maintains erection for 6 hours. Wife’s obituary is on page 3!” I have to visit my Doctor every six months or so to regulate some pills that I take. They tell me without these pills, “I’ll DIE.” So while it may be an inconvenience, it’s something I have to do, so I do. On one occasion, I set up my appointment and upon getting there learned that my regular doctor just happened to be on vacation so another Doctor agreed to see me. The Doctor that agreed to see me just happened to be a female.

I’ve never been one to get embarrassed easily, so her asking me to take my shirt off, cough, do the cold stethoscope and two fingers tap on the back thing didn’t bother me. After this minor inspection that all doctors do, she reviewed my chart and told me the same old thing that I always hear at physicals. You need to drop a few pounds, quit smoking, exercise more and give the caffeine a break. It always amazes me that Doctors always seem to take my top ten list of things that I enjoy doing and then request I stop doing them. Go figure! Then out of nowhere my female doctor asked me a question that completely caught me off guard. “How’s your sex life are you having any problems?” WHAT THE FUCK? My first reaction was, why have you heard something? Have you been talking to my lovely wife? Has she complained? I guess she noticed I was completely taken back by this question, so she quickly explained to me the question by saying that some men my age start having “Difficulties” during sex. Again, my Wife came to mind, I thought I was doing great in this area but maybe I’m not as good as I think. Had she said something? Anyway THANK GOD the female Doctor was looking me in the eye when she made this comment, if she had been looking at my crotch at the time, I think I would have cried. The “MEN MY AGE” comment did bother me a bit, it made me feel somewhat older, but I figured I’d let that one slide. It was the “difficulties” thing that bothered me. What “difficulties” was she referring to? It was then that I thought this was just too good a chance to pass up on. How often do you get to discuss fornication with a person of the opposite sex that you don’t know? And a young attractive female Doctor no less! I’m always willing to learn new things. So yes, I had to run with this!

Difficulties, you say? To what may you be referring? Surely she’s not suggesting older guys such as my self forget what goes where? I believe I’m still up on the female anatomy road map. My wife’s belly button is still in its original shape. It’s never crossed my mind to stop and ask directions during sex! Head south past the belly button…I know this! “What possibly could you mean Doctor?” I asked. The Doctor followed up her “Difficulties” comment with, “Some men have trouble with their Penis maintaining an erection.” Wow! We’re going to talk about ERECTIONS! Suddenly I realized I could listen to this woman saying the word Penis or erections all day! If I knew she wouldn’t find it inappropriate, I would have asked her to repeat the penis statement, over and over. Penis, penis, penis, penis, those words coming from her mouth, rolling off her tongue, yes I could listen all day! She then asked me if I would be interested in a prescription for Viagra. The quicker picker upper! The blue pill with the thrill! Suddenly a million questions flooded my mind. Viagra! Ah, another can of worms to open. Now we’re getting somewhere.

I couldn’t help but ask her how they work. She responded by telling me the technicalities of taking the little blue pills. “You should take it approximately an hour before having sex. The effects can last up to six hours, however if I should happen to have an erection for more than six hours I should contact my Physician. Side effects include, flushing, headaches and sometimes an upset stomach.” The questions in my mind continued to build.

One, rarely does my Wife give me an hours notice before we have sex. I can’t think of a time she has ever given me a countdown. Honey, we’re going to have sex in T minus 57 minutes and counting. Take your Blue pill and get that pecker ready for blast off! Sex with us is usually more of a spur of the moment kind of thing. Sitting on the couch listening to music, a little cuddling begins, kisses here and there start happening and then…lift off!

Two, a hard on can last up to six hours? If only I could live up to that kind of promise! At my age, the after meal cuddling, a little foreplay and the actual sex act lasts a couple of hours at best. 20 minutes tops if she’s wearing that nurses outfit that I gave her! (I sure do like that outfit!) After two hours, a coronary would probably set in. After three, they would be hitting me with the electric paddles. Any more time than that and my penis isn’t hard from the blue pills, it’s due to rigamortis has set in. Also in regards to having an erection for 6 hours, don’t I wish? If this happens call my Doctor? Hell, I’m calling all of my old girlfriends from high school! Putting a full-page ad out in my local paper! Shoot, I’d have that puppy out showing it to everybody! Yep, that’s right! Been this way for six hours! In regards to the side effects, my horniness wins over an upset stomach and a headache any day. Give me a migraine, a full-blown gas attack and a super charged hard on at the same time and I’m still banging somebody. So, I have no problem with the side effects.

I still had other questions for her. How does the excess blood know where to go? Why don’t my fingers just go hard instead of my penis? I figure I’ve got just the right amount of blood in my system in order for my body to work perfectly. So if blood rushes to my wand of pleasure, does it short me somewhere else? In other words will my toes go numb or will my tongue get all screwy? What tells the blood, OK, you can stop going to the penis now? Can your penis become over engorged and possibly explode? What happens if I take more than the recommended dosage? Does a SUPERMAN HARD ON occur? Can I hurt somebody with this thing? Can I go sexually mad from lack of blood going to the brain? She was starting to get a little agitated with me, her response was simply; ask your regular Doctor when he gets back. I think she’d figured me out and had had enough of me. I told her I’d take the pills.

The first time I took them it was amazing. My average loyal subject dick quickly became KING of all dicks. To steal a line from Eddie Murphy, when under the influence of this little blue pill, my dick gets hard when the wind blows. Mention a word that has the letters s-e-x in it and boing, Dan we have a problem. The letters don’t even have to be in the correct order. That’s all it takes. This makes it embarrassing in public places. You find yourself keeping your hands in your pockets…A LOT! You have a tendency to sit closer to the table at restaurants. The phrase “Down boy!” becomes a major part of your vocabulary. Also, going to a public restroom is a definite no no. Men generally get upset with you when you’ve got a raging hard on at the urinal beside them. Not cool! The act of peeing itself is almost impossible if not terribly difficult. With your penis a full mast, you have to gauge how far back from the urinal you need to be for the arch of your pee to actually land in it. You then must continually adjust your stance going forward and backward, depending on the velocity of your spray. That is if your spray is a stream and not a seven directional fountain, which does seem to happen at these moments. This is another thing that has a tendency to upset the person standing beside you. Hopefully those aren’t new shoes he’s wearing. And the SEX! Oh my God if a rocket had this much thrust we’d have visited Mars by now, wait we’ve visited mars, then some other planet! On the blue pill you have explosive capabilities. Jack Hammers are pale in comparison to your new found abilities. I now have a new nickname for my penis…The Pillar of Pleasure! To my Wife, I am now a GOD! All mortal penises should worship mine!

Anyway I digress; it was an interesting Doctor’s visit. It was full of useful information and a whole lotta smiles. I am still waiting for that time though where I get to place that full-page ad in the paper. “Dan’s dick maintains erection for 6 hours. Wife’s obituary is on page 3!” ]]> Dangerously http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/dangerously/72-ive-got-supermans-dick.html Obersvations http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/flynn/71-obersvations.html Wed, 21 Oct 2009 04:25:42 GMT Members of this board actually believe by posting here that they are making a difference in this worrld. Members of this board actually believe by posting here that they are making a difference in this worrld. ]]> Flynn http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/flynn/71-obersvations.html Observations http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/flynn/70-observations.html Tue, 20 Oct 2009 12:27:55 GMT I liked this so much I used it again......... *One quarter is twentyfive times more than a penny for your thoughts and one penny was overpricing it. * I liked this so much I used it again.........



One quarter is twentyfive times more than a penny for your thoughts and one penny was overpricing it.
 ]]> Flynn http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/flynn/70-observations.html Good night http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/relisisi/69-good-night.html Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:47:46 GMT Image: http://s8.images.www.tvn.hu/2009/07/05/21/12/www.tvn.hu_453a4f1e91e221d8968538e6882bdb0d.gif ]]> relisisi http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/relisisi/69-good-night.html Friendship http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/relisisi/68-friendship.html Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:45:44 GMT Image: http://s8.images.www.tvn.hu/2009/06/16/20/48/www.tvn.hu_9493a5afc1a1d17fe7cacfef7ee15d70.jpg ]]> relisisi http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/relisisi/68-friendship.html Feeling http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/relisisi/67-feeling.html Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:43:31 GMT Image: http://s8.images.www.tvn.hu/2009/06/16/20/47/www.tvn.hu_01d9404afcbeb037bfcaadd3ca343d49.jpg ]]> relisisi http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/relisisi/67-feeling.html Choises http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/relisisi/66-choises.html Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:39:08 GMT Image: http://picasaweb.google.com/relisisi/PoemAndQuatation#5300897505398081218 ]]> relisisi http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/relisisi/66-choises.html Quatation http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/relisisi/65-quatation.html Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:36:04 GMT Image: http://picasaweb.google.com/relisisi/PoemAndQuatation#5300897463277614226 ]]> relisisi http://board.jokeroo.com/blogs/relisisi/65-quatation.html