07-29-2008, 04:27 AM
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#762 (permalink) | |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North Dakota! Roaming In Mountainlion Country!
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Quote:
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07-29-2008, 12:43 PM
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#765 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North Dakota! Roaming In Mountainlion Country!
Posts: 77,693
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Ten Step Guide To Being Handy Around The House
1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an improved screwdriver. 2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help. 3. Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, then it isn't stupid. 4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can ... many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator. 5. If it's electronic, get a new one ... or consult a twelve-year-old. 6. Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning the switch "on" ; or just paint over it. 7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have healed it. 8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes DOES help. 9. If something looks level, it is level. 10. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.  
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07-29-2008, 12:51 PM
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#766 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North Dakota! Roaming In Mountainlion Country!
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A birth certificate shows that we were born; a death certificate shows that we died; pictures show that we lived! Have a seat...relax…and read this slowly.
* I believe - That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. * I believe - That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. * I believe - That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that and understand that even unwillingly – I do the same to them. * I believe - That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. * I believe - That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. * I believe - That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. * I believe - That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. * I believe - That you can keep going long after you think you can't. * I believe - That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. * I believe - That either you control your attitude or it controls you * I believe - That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up. * I believe - That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. 
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07-30-2008, 02:50 AM
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#769 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North Dakota! Roaming In Mountainlion Country!
Posts: 77,693
Rep Power: 3907 |
Apparently from a newspaper contest where entrants age 4 to
15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey." * I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? -- Age 15 * Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. -- Age 13 * Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. -- Age 10 * For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. -- Age 6 * Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with! --Age 6 * As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. -- Age 7 * Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. -- Age 15 * It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there. -- Age 5 * If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. -- Age 15 
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