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Thread: Mom - Job Description

  1. #1
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    Smile Mom - Job Description

    Mom - Job Description

    If it had been presented this way, none of us would have done it!!!!



    POSITION
    :
    Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma


    JOB DESCRIPTION
    :
    Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.


    RESPONSIBILITIES
    :
    The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.


    POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION
    :
    Virtually none - Your job is t! o remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you


    PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE
    :
    None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.


    WAGES AND COMPENSATION
    :
    Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.


    BENEFITS
    :
    While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.













  2. #2
    Junior Member darkangel101's Avatar
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    wow that sccares me. is it really that bad?now i dont wanna have kids
    flyin chikinz r takin over.
    hotties name Vin Diesel and John Cena (but niether is as awsome as Trev)

  3. #3
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    I'm so sorry I scared you darkangel101 : ( Motherhood is a wonderful experience...it's just alot of work that you do for LOVE and the rewards are HUGS, SMILES AND BIG KISSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I tell you for me it's more than enough...I being a mother for almost 20 years and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    XOXO
    Your friendly Spider











  4. #4
    Junior Member darkangel101's Avatar
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    okay kool no im not so scared.
    luvs and hugs
    Darkangel101
    flyin chikinz r takin over.
    hotties name Vin Diesel and John Cena (but niether is as awsome as Trev)

  5. #5
    Member mountain_gal's Avatar
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    Motherhood is the best job any women could hope for!!!!!!!!

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by mountain_gal
    Motherhood is the best job any women could hope for!!!!!!!!
    yea that's true,i ain't have children yet.in fact ,i even don't get merried ,but i wanna to be a mother bads. i can't wait , god bless me

  7. #7
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    He will Hon! You will be a great MOM!

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    Thanks for your replies and God bless all the moms of the world : )











  9. #9
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    you made me fell bad about myself

  10. #10
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    fatherhood is the best job any man could have as well!!!!!
    together, what an awesome team!!!

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigHeaded_Chief
    you made me fell bad about myself

    I'm sorry BigHeaded_Chief I made you feel bad. It was not my intention! I have alots of respect FATHERHOOD! God bless all the fathers too and every person in the world!
    XOXO











  12. #12
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    nothing will ever make you as happy or as sad ,as pround or as tired ,as motherhood.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigHeaded_Chief
    you made me fell bad about myself

    don't feel sad ,safe ,for a child ,is his father's hand holding him tight .

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