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		<title>Jokeroo Community - Funny Jokes</title>
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		<description>Talk about those funny jokes you heard...</description>
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			<title>Jokeroo Community - Funny Jokes</title>
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		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Koni's first wanking comp.]]></title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137819-konis-first-wanking-comp.html</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:20:31 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[*The bold boy entered a wanking comp. It was based on Bingo. The rules were everyone had to start at the same time and the first to cum had to shout house.*
*Two mins later someone shouted. Two mins after that Koni is still thrashing away. " Hey Koni you can stop now, someone shouted "house said another contestant.*
*"I know", said Koni, " But it might be a false call"!:)*]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><b>The bold boy entered a wanking comp. It was based on Bingo. The rules were everyone had to start at the same time and the first to cum had to shout house.</b><br />
<b>Two mins later someone shouted. Two mins after that Koni is still thrashing away. " Hey Koni you can stop now, someone shouted "house said another contestant.</b><br />
<b>"I know", said Koni, " But it might be a false call"!:)</b></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/">Funny Jokes</category>
			<dc:creator>brilor</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137819-konis-first-wanking-comp.html</guid>
		</item>
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			<title>M E X I C A N  Words of the Day</title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137816-m-e-x-i-c-n-words-day.html</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:33:03 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[*Mexican Words Of The Day  
   
1. *Cheese* 
The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence.  
Pepito  replies: Maria likes me, but cheese ugly. 
   
 2. *Mushroom*  
 When all my family get in the car  
There's not mushroom.  
  
3. *Shoulder*  
My fren wants 2 become a citizen,  
But che didn't know how to read,  
So I, shoulder.      

4. * Texas *  
When I'm not home,  
My fren always Texas me,  
Che wonders where I am!   

5. *Herpes*  
Me and my fren ordered pizza.   
I got mine piece  
Then che got herpes.   

 6. *July*   
Ju told me ju were going to tha store  
But ju went to see sum guy,  
July to me!  Julyer!   

7. *Rectum*   
I had 2 cars  
But my wife rectum!   
   
8. *Chicken*   
I was going to go to the store with my wife  
But che said chicken go herself.   
    
9. *Wheelchair*   
We only have one enchilada left  
But don't worry wheelchair   
    
10. *Chicken* *wing*  
My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.  
    
11. *Harassment*  
My wife caught me in bed with another women.  
I told her,  "Honey, harassment nothen to me.  
    
12. *Bishop*   
My wife fell down the stair  
So I had to pick the bishop.  

   
13. *Body wash*   
I want to go to the club  
But no body wash my kids.  
    
14. *Budweiser*   
That women has a nice body,  
Budweiser face so ugly?   
*]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><b><font color="Teal"><div align="center"><font size="3">Mexican Words Of The Day  <br />
   <br />
1. *Cheese* <br />
The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence.  <br />
Pepito  replies: Maria likes me, but cheese ugly. <br />
   <br />
 2. *Mushroom*  <br />
 When all my family get in the car  <br />
There's not mushroom.  <br />
  <br />
3. *Shoulder*  <br />
My fren wants 2 become a citizen,  <br />
But che didn't know how to read,  <br />
So I, shoulder.      <br />
<br />
4. * Texas *  <br />
When I'm not home,  <br />
My fren always Texas me,  <br />
Che wonders where I am!   <br />
<br />
5. *Herpes*  <br />
Me and my fren ordered pizza.   <br />
I got mine piece  <br />
Then che got herpes.   <br />
<br />
 6. *July*   <br />
Ju told me ju were going to tha store  <br />
But ju went to see sum guy,  <br />
July to me!  Julyer!   <br />
<br />
7. *Rectum*   <br />
I had 2 cars  <br />
But my wife rectum!   <br />
   <br />
8. *Chicken*   <br />
I was going to go to the store with my wife  <br />
But che said chicken go herself.   <br />
    <br />
9. *Wheelchair*   <br />
We only have one enchilada left  <br />
But don't worry wheelchair   <br />
    <br />
10. *Chicken* *wing*  <br />
My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.  <br />
    <br />
11. *Harassment*  <br />
My wife caught me in bed with another women.  <br />
I told her,  "Honey, harassment nothen to me.  <br />
    <br />
12. *Bishop*   <br />
My wife fell down the stair  <br />
So I had to pick the bishop.  <br />
<br />
   <br />
13. *Body wash*   <br />
I want to go to the club  <br />
But no body wash my kids.  <br />
    <br />
14. *Budweiser*   <br />
That women has a nice body,  <br />
Budweiser face so ugly?   </font></div></font></b></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/">Funny Jokes</category>
			<dc:creator>Miss_Manzy</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137816-m-e-x-i-c-n-words-day.html</guid>
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			<title>Hiding under the habit</title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137815-hiding-under-habit.html</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:19:37 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[*A soldier asks  a nun," the MP`s are after me,i don`t want to go to Afghanistan, can i hide under you habit till it`s safe."she said ok, so he scuttles underneath.
When the MP`s pass, he comes out of hiding, and said to the nun," thank you very much.may i say,i could not help but notice, that you have a nice pair of legs." the nun replied," if you looked further up you would also noticed a nice pair of balls, i don`t want to go to Afghanistan either*."]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><font size="4"><b>A soldier asks  a nun," the MP`s are after me,i don`t want to go to Afghanistan, can i hide under you habit till it`s safe."she said ok, so he scuttles underneath.<br />
When the MP`s pass, he comes out of hiding, and said to the nun," thank you very much.may i say,i could not help but notice, that you have a nice pair of legs." the nun replied," if you looked further up you would also noticed a nice pair of balls, i don`t want to go to Afghanistan either</b></font>."</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/">Funny Jokes</category>
			<dc:creator>konifur2</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137815-hiding-under-habit.html</guid>
		</item>
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			<title>A scary groaner</title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137813-scary-groaner.html</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:15:18 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[I went to the Chinese take-away and got a meal for two,which was all put in a huge paper bag.
i got in the car and place the bag on the passenger seat.I heard the bag rustle, when i looked i saw a pair of eyes looking over the top of the bag then they  disappeared back down again.i was so shocked and scared i nearly crashed the car.
I looked again at the bag just in time to see the eyes disappear  back into the bag again.
I stopped the car and jumped out and ran back to the takeaway,leaving the scary thing in the bag on the seat.
I shouted to the man in the shop," what the hells going on, there is something scary in that bag you gave me!"
 The Chinaman,said carmly," you no worry,it  is only Peking duck."]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>I went to the Chinese take-away and got a meal for two,which was all put in a huge paper bag.<br />
i got in the car and place the bag on the passenger seat.I heard the bag rustle, when i looked i saw a pair of eyes looking over the top of the bag then they  disappeared back down again.i was so shocked and scared i nearly crashed the car.<br />
I looked again at the bag just in time to see the eyes disappear  back into the bag again.<br />
I stopped the car and jumped out and ran back to the takeaway,leaving the scary thing in the bag on the seat.<br />
I shouted to the man in the shop," what the hells going on, there is something scary in that bag you gave me!"<br />
 The Chinaman,said carmly," you no worry,it  is only Peking duck."</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/">Funny Jokes</category>
			<dc:creator>konifur2</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137813-scary-groaner.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Pinocchio's Problem.]]></title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137811-pinocchios-problem.html</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:59:46 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Pinocchio had just finished having sex with his girlfriend, and he asked her, "So ... how was I?" She said, "Well, Pinocchio ... I hate to say this, but when we have sex, you give me splinters!" 

Pinocchio was devastated. He went running to Gepetto, crying, "My girlfriend says that when we have sex, I give her splinters! Is there anything you can do?" 

Gepetto says, "What you need, my boy, is a piece of sandpaper. Use this once a day, and that'll solve the problem." 

About a month later, Gepetto ran into Pinocchio on the street. "How was that sandpaper I gave you?" He asked. "Are you still having problems with the girls?" 

"Girls?" Pinocchio asked. "Who needs girls?" :laugh:]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><font size="4"><font size="3"><font color="darkorange">Pinocchio had just finished having sex with his girlfriend, and he asked her, "So ... how was I?" She said, "Well, Pinocchio ... I hate to say this, but when we have sex, you give me splinters!" <br />
<br />
Pinocchio was devastated. He went running to Gepetto, crying, "My girlfriend says that when we have sex, I give her splinters! Is there anything you can do?" <br />
<br />
Gepetto says, "What you need, my boy, is a piece of sandpaper. Use this once a day, and that'll solve the problem." <br />
<br />
About a month later, Gepetto ran into Pinocchio on the street. "How was that sandpaper I gave you?" He asked. "Are you still having problems with the girls?" <br />
</font></font><br />
"<font color="darkorange">Girls?" Pinocchio asked. "Who needs girls?"</font> :laugh:</font></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/">Funny Jokes</category>
			<dc:creator>brilor</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137811-pinocchios-problem.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[it sure was nice talkin' to ya!]]></title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137803-sure-nice-talkin-ya.html</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:38:59 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[*"So hello, Mabel. Yeah. I thought I'd call and tell you what happened on my date last night. Gee, what a guy he was. A real he-man. Y'know what I mean? And what a kisser ...

No, he wasn't ugly. I mean, he really knew how to kiss. Yeah ...

Well, when we were having dinner he asked me if I'd like to have breakfast with him. And I said, 'Sure'. So he said, 'Should I phone you, or nudge you?' ..."

"... So like 1 was telling you, Mabel, he took me home in a cab. Yeah. Boy, what a spender ...

Well, we got to my house, and 1 kissed him goodnight on the stoop. But he wasn't satisfied. He came right inside with me. So I said, 'Looka here. You have no business in my room at this time of the night.' I wanted him to know that I was a lady. And you know what he said? He said, 'I didn't come here for business. I came for pleasure.' How d'ya like that? ...

You know how I try to keep all men at arm's length. Can I help it if I have very short arms? So, anyway, as it turned out, we had a fight. Y'know what I mean? I wanted him to know right away that I'm not that kind of a girl ...

Yeah. So I bawled him out for about twenty minutes. And you know what that louse did? He threw me right out of bed..."

". . . Well, anyway, Mabel, I don't care, because I have a date tonight with that banker I met last month. Yeah. Boy, is he loaded! ...

Sure, you know the one. Remember, I told you he had $50,000, a big Cadillac, and his own business? ...

Yeah, that's him. Boy, that should be some date tonight! Two weeks ago he promised me the $50,000, last week he promised the Cadillac, and tonight he's gonna give me the business. Boy, I can hardly wait ..."

"... So I also wanted to tell you about that guy I met at the dance last week. Yeah, the dance at the 'Y' on the Grand Concourse. Well, this here guy was a regular Continental. Spoke with an accent and everything. He had dark black greasy hair, and dark black greasy eyebrows, and dark black greasy teeth. A regulah doll he was. Yeah, he was Latin so I was lettin' ...

Whaddaya mean, how did I know he was a Latin lover? I could tell. All he wanted to do was make love below the border ...

"... So anyways, Mabel, like I was remarking, he called me his Cherie. Little did he know ...

Oh, that's French for 'dear'? I thought it meant something else. Ooh, am I embarrassed! ...

Yeah. So we went to this little place where the lights were low, and I held his hand. But even that didn't stop him ..."

" Well, Mabel, this guy just wouldn't give up. He may have looked Latin, but he sure had Roman hands. Yeah, they roamed all over the place ...

Whassat? Of course I told him I was a good girl. And you know what he said? He said, 'If you're that good, I'd like to try you myself.' ...

Well, I tell you I was absolutely mortified. That's what I was, mortified. And then ... and then he really put on the straw that broke my back like a camel. Lemme tell you what he did. I was so unhappy about it, I wouldn't tell nobody but you. Only 'cause you're my best girlfriend. Well, arlyways, he took me aside and he offered me two dollars if I'd go to bed with him. Yeah, and it's an experience I don't wanna remember ...

Whaddaya mean, what's wrong with that? I'll tell you what's wrong: On the way home I lost the two dollars ..."

"But it really was an interesting evening, Mabel. And, oh yeah! I was meaning to tell you something else. This here guy was tattooed all over. And with moon pitchuh stars ...

Uh-huh. All over him. On his right shoulder he had Randolph Scott, and on his left shoulder was James Stewart. And on his chest he had Tony Curtis ...

Yeah. Then he took me to his apartment and he showed me Jimmy Durante ..."

"... Whassat, Mabel, you gotta go back to work? Well, awright, then. I didn't have very much more to tell you about ...

Yeah, I'm just gonna have to stop going out with him. He's a nice guy but he's got a real bad habit. Every time he takes me out, he pinches my cheek. Yeah ...

Whaddaya mean, what's wrong with him pinching my cheek? I'll tell you what's wrong with him pinching my cheek. Every time he does it I can't sit down for two days ...

Yeah ...

Well, I'm gonna have to hang you up now, Mabel. So long, Mabel ...

Yeah; 'bye ... "*]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><b><font color="Indigo">"So hello, Mabel. Yeah. I thought I'd call and tell you what happened on my date last night. Gee, what a guy he was. A real he-man. Y'know what I mean? And what a kisser ...<br />
<br />
No, he wasn't ugly. I mean, he really knew how to kiss. Yeah ...<br />
<br />
Well, when we were having dinner he asked me if I'd like to have breakfast with him. And I said, 'Sure'. So he said, 'Should I phone you, or nudge you?' ..."<br />
<br />
"... So like 1 was telling you, Mabel, he took me home in a cab. Yeah. Boy, what a spender ...<br />
<br />
Well, we got to my house, and 1 kissed him goodnight on the stoop. But he wasn't satisfied. He came right inside with me. So I said, 'Looka here. You have no business in my room at this time of the night.' I wanted him to know that I was a lady. And you know what he said? He said, 'I didn't come here for business. I came for pleasure.' How d'ya like that? ...<br />
<br />
You know how I try to keep all men at arm's length. Can I help it if I have very short arms? So, anyway, as it turned out, we had a fight. Y'know what I mean? I wanted him to know right away that I'm not that kind of a girl ...<br />
<br />
Yeah. So I bawled him out for about twenty minutes. And you know what that louse did? He threw me right out of bed..."<br />
<br />
". . . Well, anyway, Mabel, I don't care, because I have a date tonight with that banker I met last month. Yeah. Boy, is he loaded! ...<br />
<br />
Sure, you know the one. Remember, I told you he had $50,000, a big Cadillac, and his own business? ...<br />
<br />
Yeah, that's him. Boy, that should be some date tonight! Two weeks ago he promised me the $50,000, last week he promised the Cadillac, and tonight he's gonna give me the business. Boy, I can hardly wait ..."<br />
<br />
"... So I also wanted to tell you about that guy I met at the dance last week. Yeah, the dance at the 'Y' on the Grand Concourse. Well, this here guy was a regular Continental. Spoke with an accent and everything. He had dark black greasy hair, and dark black greasy eyebrows, and dark black greasy teeth. A regulah doll he was. Yeah, he was Latin so I was lettin' ...<br />
<br />
Whaddaya mean, how did I know he was a Latin lover? I could tell. All he wanted to do was make love below the border ...<br />
<br />
"... So anyways, Mabel, like I was remarking, he called me his Cherie. Little did he know ...<br />
<br />
Oh, that's French for 'dear'? I thought it meant something else. Ooh, am I embarrassed! ...<br />
<br />
Yeah. So we went to this little place where the lights were low, and I held his hand. But even that didn't stop him ..."<br />
<br />
" Well, Mabel, this guy just wouldn't give up. He may have looked Latin, but he sure had Roman hands. Yeah, they roamed all over the place ...<br />
<br />
Whassat? Of course I told him I was a good girl. And you know what he said? He said, 'If you're that good, I'd like to try you myself.' ...<br />
<br />
Well, I tell you I was absolutely mortified. That's what I was, mortified. And then ... and then he really put on the straw that broke my back like a camel. Lemme tell you what he did. I was so unhappy about it, I wouldn't tell nobody but you. Only 'cause you're my best girlfriend. Well, arlyways, he took me aside and he offered me two dollars if I'd go to bed with him. Yeah, and it's an experience I don't wanna remember ...<br />
<br />
Whaddaya mean, what's wrong with that? I'll tell you what's wrong: On the way home I lost the two dollars ..."<br />
<br />
"But it really was an interesting evening, Mabel. And, oh yeah! I was meaning to tell you something else. This here guy was tattooed all over. And with moon pitchuh stars ...<br />
<br />
Uh-huh. All over him. On his right shoulder he had Randolph Scott, and on his left shoulder was James Stewart. And on his chest he had Tony Curtis ...<br />
<br />
Yeah. Then he took me to his apartment and he showed me Jimmy Durante ..."<br />
<br />
"... Whassat, Mabel, you gotta go back to work? Well, awright, then. I didn't have very much more to tell you about ...<br />
<br />
Yeah, I'm just gonna have to stop going out with him. He's a nice guy but he's got a real bad habit. Every time he takes me out, he pinches my cheek. Yeah ...<br />
<br />
Whaddaya mean, what's wrong with him pinching my cheek? I'll tell you what's wrong with him pinching my cheek. Every time he does it I can't sit down for two days ...<br />
<br />
Yeah ...<br />
<br />
Well, I'm gonna have to hang you up now, Mabel. So long, Mabel ...<br />
<br />
Yeah; 'bye ... "</font></b></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/">Funny Jokes</category>
			<dc:creator>squirt</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137803-sure-nice-talkin-ya.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Happy thanksgiving!!!  This is cute.</title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137785-happy-thanksgiving-cute.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:59:18 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[<tt>*:D*</tt>  
*Recently I received a parrot as a gift.  The parrot had a bad attitude and an even
worse vocabulary.  Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and 
laced with profanity.

I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, 
playing soft music and anything else I could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot.  The parrot yelled back. Then I shook the *

  *parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.  In desperation, I threw up my hands, *

  *grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.  For a few minutes the parrot squawked and *

  *kicked and screamed - then suddenly there was total quiet.  Not a peep was heard for *

  *over a minute.

Fearing that I'd killed the parrot, I quickly open the door to the freezer.*

  *The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arms and said,*

  
*"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
  I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and *

  *  I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

I was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.  As I was about to ask the parrot *

  *what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, *

  *                                "May I ask what the turkey did?"


                Happy Thanksgiving!*]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><tt><b>:D</b></tt>  <font color="black"><font face="Arial"><br />
<font size="4"><b>Recently I received a parrot as a gift.  The parrot had a bad attitude and an even<br />
worse vocabulary.  Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and <br />
laced with profanity.<br />
<br />
I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, <br />
playing soft music and anything else I could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.<br />
<br />
Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot.  The parrot yelled back. Then I shook the </b></font></font></font><br />
<br />
  <font color="black"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b>parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.  In desperation, I threw up my hands, </b></font></font></font><br />
<br />
  <font color="black"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b>grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.  For a few minutes the parrot squawked and </b></font></font></font><br />
<br />
  <font color="black"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b>kicked and screamed - then suddenly there was total quiet.  Not a peep was heard for </b></font></font></font><br />
<br />
  <font color="black"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b>over a minute.<br />
<br />
Fearing that I'd killed the parrot, I quickly open the door to the freezer.</b></font></font></font><br />
<br />
  <font color="black"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b>The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arms and said,</b></font></font></font><br />
<br />
  <font color="black"><font face="Arial"><br />
<font size="4"><b>"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.<br />
  I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and </b></font></font></font><br />
<br />
  <font color="black"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b>  I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."<br />
<br />
I was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.  As I was about to ask the parrot </b></font></font></font><br />
<br />
  <font color="black"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b>what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, </b></font></font></font><br />
<br />
  <font color="black"><font face="Arial"><font size="4"><b>                                "May I ask what the turkey did?"<br />
<br />
<br />
                Happy Thanksgiving!</b></font></font></font></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/">Funny Jokes</category>
			<dc:creator>numbr77</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137785-happy-thanksgiving-cute.html</guid>
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			<title>Quiz For People Who Know Everything</title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137783-quiz-people-who-know-everything.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:13:59 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Image: http://i45.tinypic.com/2rlyg00.jpg 

*Quiz For People Who Know Everything
 
 
(1) There's one "sport" in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. What is it?
 
(2) What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
 
(3) Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
 
(4) Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball?
 
(5) What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
 
(6) In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
 
(7) Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw." They are all common. Name two of them.
 
(8) There are fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name half of them?
 
(9) Where are the lakes that are referred to in the "Los Angeles Lakers?"
 
(10) There are seven ways a baseball player can legally reach first base without getting a hit. Taking a base on balls-a walk-is one way. Name the other six.
 
(11) It's the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh. What is it?
 
(12) Name six or more things that you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter "S."
 
 
 
 
"Answers To Quiz"
 
 
1. Boxing.
 
2. Niagara Falls. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.
 
3. Asparagus and rhubarb.
 
4. Baseball.
 
5. Strawberry.
 
6. The pear grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the whole growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
 
7. Dwarf, dwell, and dwindle.
 
8. Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
 
9. In Minnesota. The team was originally known as the Minneapolis Lakers and kept the name when they moved west.
 
10. Batter hit by a pitch; passed ball; catcher interference; catcher drops third strike; fielder's choice; and being designated as a pinch runner.
 
11. Lettuce.
 
12. Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, snowshoes, stockings.
...Well, now you know! Feel any smarter?
*
 Image: http://i45.tinypic.com/9jg13p.jpg 

]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><div align="center"><img src="http://i45.tinypic.com/2rlyg00.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></div><br />
<b><blockquote>Quiz For People Who Know Everything<br />
 <br />
 <br />
(1) There's one "sport" in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. What is it?<br />
 <br />
(2) What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?<br />
 <br />
(3) Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?<br />
 <br />
(4) Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball?<br />
 <br />
(5) What fruit has its seeds on the outside?<br />
 <br />
(6) In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?<br />
 <br />
(7) Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw." They are all common. Name two of them.<br />
 <br />
(8) There are fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name half of them?<br />
 <br />
(9) Where are the lakes that are referred to in the "Los Angeles Lakers?"<br />
 <br />
(10) There are seven ways a baseball player can legally reach first base without getting a hit. Taking a base on balls-a walk-is one way. Name the other six.<br />
 <br />
(11) It's the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh. What is it?<br />
 <br />
(12) Name six or more things that you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter "S."<br />
 <br />
 <br />
 <br />
 <br />
"Answers To Quiz"<br />
 <br />
 <br />
1. Boxing.<br />
 <br />
2. Niagara Falls. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.<br />
 <br />
3. Asparagus and rhubarb.<br />
 <br />
4. Baseball.<br />
 <br />
5. Strawberry.<br />
 <br />
6. The pear grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the whole growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.<br />
 <br />
7. Dwarf, dwell, and dwindle.<br />
 <br />
8. Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.<br />
 <br />
9. In Minnesota. The team was originally known as the Minneapolis Lakers and kept the name when they moved west.<br />
 <br />
10. Batter hit by a pitch; passed ball; catcher interference; catcher drops third strike; fielder's choice; and being designated as a pinch runner.<br />
 <br />
11. Lettuce.<br />
 <br />
12. Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, snowshoes, stockings.<br />
...Well, now you know! Feel any smarter?</blockquote></b><br />
 <div align="center"><img src="http://i45.tinypic.com/9jg13p.jpg" border="0" alt="" /><br />
</div></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/">Funny Jokes</category>
			<dc:creator>Seti</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137783-quiz-people-who-know-everything.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>The Da Vinci Code Explained</title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137781-da-vinci-code-explained.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:45:06 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[<TABLE style="WIDTH: 100%" class=ecxecxMsoNormalTable border=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%"><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; WIDTH: 100%; PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" width="100%"><TABLE style="WIDTH: 100%" class=ecxecxMsoNormalTable border=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%"><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; WIDTH: 100%; PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" width="100%">
*DA VINCI CODE EXPLAINED*

*
Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:*

 

*Image: http://img7.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4869/4869877d2be2fbc139eeee9074db8d4f4bc3c4e.gif  (http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4869877&showlnk=0)
It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least 3000 years old!*

*The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols. *

*They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.*

*
The President of the society pointed to first drawing and said: *

  

 

  Image: http://img7.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4869/4869877d2be2fbc139eeee9074db8d4f4bc3c4e.gif  (http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4869877&showlnk=0)

*"This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem. *

 

  Image: http://img7.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4869/4869877d2be2fbc139eeee9074db8d4f4bc3c4e.gif  (http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4869877&showlnk=0)

*You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil. *

 

*The Image: http://img7.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4869/4869877d2be2fbc139eeee9074db8d4f4bc3c4e.gif  (http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4869877&showlnk=0)next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them."*

 

*Image: http://img7.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4869/4869877d2be2fbc139eeee9074db8d4f4bc3c4e.gif  (http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4869877&showlnk=0)Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn't grow, they seek food from the sea. *

 

  Image: http://img7.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4869/4869877d2be2fbc139eeee9074db8d4f4bc3c4e.gif  (http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4869877&showlnk=0)

*The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.*

*The audience applauded enthusiastically.*

*Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said, *

 

  Image: http://img7.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4869/4869877d2be2fbc139eeee9074db8d4f4bc3c4e.gif  (http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4869877&showlnk=0)

*"Idiots...*
*Hebrew is read from right to left... It says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Chick"*
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt"> 
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><TABLE style="WIDTH: 100%" class=ecxecxMsoNormalTable border=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%"><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; WIDTH: 100%; PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" width="100%"><TABLE style="WIDTH: 100%" class=ecxecxMsoNormalTable border=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%"><TBODY><TR><TD style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; WIDTH: 100%; PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" width="100%"><br />
<b><font color="navy">DA VINCI CODE EXPLAINED</font></b><br />
<br />
<b><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma"><br />
Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:</font></font></b><br />
<br />
 <br />
<br />
<b><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma"><a href="http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4869877&amp;showlnk=0" target="_blank"><img src="http://img7.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4869/4869877d2be2fbc139eeee9074db8d4f4bc3c4e.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />
It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least 3000 years old!</font></font></b><br />
<br />
<b><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols. </font></font></b><br />
<br />
<b><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.</font></font></b><br />
<br />
<b><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma"><br />
The President of the society pointed to first drawing and said: </font></font></b><br />
<br />
  <br />
<br />
 <br />
<br />
  <a href="http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4869877&amp;showlnk=0" target="_blank"><img src="http://img7.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4869/4869877d2be2fbc139eeee9074db8d4f4bc3c4e.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />
<br />
<b><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">"This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem. </font></font></b><br />
<br />
 <br />
<br />
  <a href="http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4869877&amp;showlnk=0" target="_blank"><img src="http://img7.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4869/4869877d2be2fbc139eeee9074db8d4f4bc3c4e.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />
<br />
<b><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil. </font></font></b><br />
<br />
 <br />
<br />
<b><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">The <a href="http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4869877&amp;showlnk=0" target="_blank"><img src="http://img7.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4869/4869877d2be2fbc139eeee9074db8d4f4bc3c4e.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a>next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them."</font></font></b><br />
<br />
 <br />
<br />
<b><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma"><a href="http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4869877&amp;showlnk=0" target="_blank"><img src="http://img7.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4869/4869877d2be2fbc139eeee9074db8d4f4bc3c4e.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a>Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn't grow, they seek food from the sea. </font></font></b><br />
<br />
 <br />
<br />
  <a href="http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4869877&amp;showlnk=0" target="_blank"><img src="http://img7.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4869/4869877d2be2fbc139eeee9074db8d4f4bc3c4e.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />
<br />
<b><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.</font></font></b><br />
<br />
<b><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">The audience applauded enthusiastically.</font></font></b><br />
<br />
<b><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said, </font></font></b><br />
<br />
 <br />
<br />
  <a href="http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4869877&amp;showlnk=0" target="_blank"><img src="http://img7.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4869/4869877d2be2fbc139eeee9074db8d4f4bc3c4e.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />
<br />
<b><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">"Idiots...</font></font></b><br />
<b><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Hebrew is read from right to left... It says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Chick"</font></font></b><br />
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR><TR><TD style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt"> <br />
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/">Funny Jokes</category>
			<dc:creator>brilor</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137781-da-vinci-code-explained.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>And you think your workmates are bad!</title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137768-you-think-your-workmates-bad.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:09:11 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work.
Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:<br />
<br />
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.<br />
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.<br />
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.<br />
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.<br />
<br />
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.<br />
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.<br />
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.<br />
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.<br />
<br />
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.<br />
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.<br />
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.<br />
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work.<br />
Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.<br />
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.<br />
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single fucking day.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/">Funny Jokes</category>
			<dc:creator>smuttydad</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137768-you-think-your-workmates-bad.html</guid>
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		<item>
			<title>Lor and Anne`s night out.</title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137762-lor-anne-s-night-out.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:43:44 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Anne and Lor where sitting in the bar one night chatting,Lor said to Anne.
" Bri stepped out of the shower this morning and said, It's just too hot to wear clothes today,ur Lor, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"What did you say to that",Anne asked.
Lor replied," i said to him,Probably that I married you for your money." 

They laughed.

Lor conitinued,"One day Bri decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "Lor! What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends Bri,what does it say on your shirt?"

Bri yelled back, "University of Aberdeen."

Anne laughed and said," that`s just typical,i`m going to the bar ,same again, Lor.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>Anne and Lor where sitting in the bar one night chatting,Lor said to Anne.<br />
" Bri stepped out of the shower this morning and said, It's just too hot to wear clothes today,ur Lor, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"<br />
"What did you say to that",Anne asked.<br />
Lor replied," i said to him,Probably that I married you for your money." <br />
<br />
They laughed.<br />
<br />
Lor conitinued,"One day Bri decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "Lor! What setting do I use on the washing machine?"<br />
<br />
"It depends Bri,what does it say on your shirt?"<br />
<br />
Bri yelled back, "University of Aberdeen."<br />
<br />
Anne laughed and said," that`s just typical,i`m going to the bar ,same again, Lor.</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/">Funny Jokes</category>
			<dc:creator>konifur2</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137762-lor-anne-s-night-out.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Just a Note. . . . .</title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137760-just-note.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 05:01:19 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>*Just think if the Pilgrims gave the Indians a donkey for Thanks Giving we would all be having a piece of ass.
*</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="6"><font color="Purple"><b><i><div align="center">Just think if the Pilgrims gave the Indians a donkey for Thanks Giving we would all be having a piece of ass.</div></i></b></font></font></font></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/">Funny Jokes</category>
			<dc:creator>stevent222</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137760-just-note.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Learning the language.</title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137758-learning-language.html</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:20:16 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was  leaving his Mission

in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he

realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.
 

 So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and

 says to the chief, 'This is a tree.'

 The chief looks at the tree and grunts, 'Tree.'

 The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he

 points to a rock and says, 'This is a rock.'

 Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, 'Rock.'

 The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears

 a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of

 natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

 The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, 'Man riding a bike.'

 The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them.

 The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years

 teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how

 could he kill these people in cold blood that way?


 The chief replied, 'My bike.'


Enjoy your day and remember to keep off the roads

when riding someone elses bicycle!

]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><div align="center"><div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS">A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was  leaving his Mission</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS">in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS">realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.<br />
 </font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> says to the chief, 'This is a tree.'</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> The chief looks at the tree and grunts, 'Tree.'</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> points to a rock and says, 'This is a rock.'</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, 'Rock.'</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, 'Man riding a bike.'</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them.</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> could he kill these people in cold blood that way?</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"> The chief replied, 'My bike.'</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><br />
 </font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="red"><font color="red"><font face="Comic Sans MS">Enjoy your day and remember to keep off the roads</font></font></font></font></font></div><br />
<div align="center"><font face="Comic Sans MS"><font size="5"><font color="red"><font color="red"><font face="Comic Sans MS">when riding someone elses bicycle!</font></font></font></font></font></div></div></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/">Funny Jokes</category>
			<dc:creator>brilor</dc:creator>
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			<title>Smart arsed answers of the year 2009</title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137753-smart-arsed-answers-year-2009-a.html</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:28:36 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009 
________________________________  
6th Place 
It was mealtime during a flight on a  British Airways plane: 
'Would you like dinner?' the flight  attendant asked the man seated in the front row. 
'What are my choices?' the man  asked... 
'Yes or no,' she replied. 
________________________________  
5th Place 
A flight attendant was stationed at  the departure gate to check tickets. 
As a man approached, she extended her  hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. 
Without blinking an eyelid she said,  
'Sir, I need to see your ticket not  your stub.' 
________________________________  
4th Place 
A lady was picking through the frozen  turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's but she couldn't find one big enough for her  family.
She asked a passing assistant, 'Do  these turkeys get any bigger?' 
The assistant replied, ' I'm afraid  not, they're dead.' 
________________________________  
3rd Place 
The policeman got out of his car and  approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding. 
'I've been waiting for you all day,'  the bobby said. 
The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here  as fast as I could.' 
When the policeman finally stopped  laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. 
________________________________  
2nd Place 
A lorry driver was driving along on a  country road. 
A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge  Ahead.' 
Before he realised it, the bridge was  directly ahead and he got stuck under it. 
Cars are backed up for miles.  
Finally, a police car comes up.  
The policeman got out of his car and  walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, 'Got stuck, eh?' 
The lorry driver said, 'No, I was  delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!' 
________________________________  

SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009  
A teacher at a polytechnic college  reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam. 
'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate  any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. 
I might consider a nuclear attack or a  serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but  that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-arsed guy at the back of the  room raised his hand and asked, 'What would happen if I came in tomorrow  suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to  laughter and sniggering. 
When silence was restored, the teacher  smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I  suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><font color="#C0504D">SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009 <br />
________________________________  </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">6th Place </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">It was mealtime during a flight on a  British Airways plane: </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">'Would you like dinner?' the flight  attendant asked the man seated in the front row. </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">'What are my choices?' the man  asked... </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">'Yes or no,' she replied. </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">________________________________  </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">5th Place </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">A flight attendant was stationed at  the departure gate to check tickets. </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">As a man approached, she extended her  hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">Without blinking an eyelid she said,  </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">'Sir, I need to see your ticket not  your stub.' </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">________________________________  </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">4th Place </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">A lady was picking through the frozen  turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's but she couldn't find one big enough for her  family.</font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">She asked a passing assistant, 'Do  these turkeys get any bigger?' </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">The assistant replied, ' I'm afraid  not, they're dead.' </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">________________________________  </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">3rd Place </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">The policeman got out of his car and  approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding. </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">'I've been waiting for you all day,'  the bobby said. </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here  as fast as I could.' </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">When the policeman finally stopped  laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">________________________________  </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">2nd Place </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">A lorry driver was driving along on a  country road. </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge  Ahead.' </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">Before he realised it, the bridge was  directly ahead and he got stuck under it. </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">Cars are backed up for miles.  </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">Finally, a police car comes up.  </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">The policeman got out of his car and  walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, 'Got stuck, eh?' </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">The lorry driver said, 'No, I was  delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!' </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">________________________________  </font><br />
<br />
<font color="#C0504D">SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009  </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">A teacher at a polytechnic college  reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam. </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate  any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">I might consider a nuclear attack or a  serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but  that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'</font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">A smart-arsed guy at the back of the  room raised his hand and asked, 'What would happen if I came in tomorrow  suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'</font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">The entire class was reduced to  laughter and sniggering. </font><br />
<font color="#C0504D">When silence was restored, the teacher  smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I  suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'.</font></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/">Funny Jokes</category>
			<dc:creator>konifur2</dc:creator>
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			<title>Creation or evolution?</title>
			<link>http://board.jokeroo.com/funny-jokes/137742-creation-evolution.html</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 17 Nov 2009 09:08:14 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." 
 
Image: http://img9.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4861/486191971a1b9b87100e7a6ccadcf14d82f592d.jpg  (http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4861919&showlnk=0)
 
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were 
monkeys from which the human race evolved." 
Image: http://img6.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4861/4861926f5e3e4351eda4269cfb2776f991ce486.jpg  (http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4861926&showlnk=0)
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom , how is it possible that you told me the human race was 
created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple.  
I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his." 
 
:D:p]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><font color="black">A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."</font> <br />
 <br />
<a href="http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4861919&amp;showlnk=0" target="_blank"><img src="http://img9.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4861/486191971a1b9b87100e7a6ccadcf14d82f592d.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />
 <br />
<font color="black">Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were </font><br />
<font color="black">monkeys from which the human race evolved."</font> <br />
<a href="http://www.uploadhouse.com/viewfile.php?id=4861926&amp;showlnk=0" target="_blank"><img src="http://img6.uploadhouse.com/fileuploads/4861/4861926f5e3e4351eda4269cfb2776f991ce486.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />
<font color="black">The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom , how is it possible that you told me the human race was </font><br />
<font color="black">created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple.  </font><br />
<font color="black">I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."</font> <br />
 <br />
:D:p</div>

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			<dc:creator>brilor</dc:creator>
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