http://board.jokeroo.com Where the female and male race duel it out. By far the most popular forum on the past Jokaroo.com message board. en Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:16:59 GMT vBulletin 60 http://board.jokeroo.com/jokeroov2/misc/rss.jpg http://board.jokeroo.com http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137820-damn-caught-once-again.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:02:42 GMT Image: http://i49.tinypic.com/2hobt6s.jpg ]]> Battle of Sexes Pixsurguy http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137820-damn-caught-once-again.html http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137806-master-key.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:28:14 GMT ]]> Battle of Sexes brilor http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137806-master-key.html http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137772-ah-male-fidelity-wonderous-thing-indeed.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:03:02 GMT Image: http://i50.tinypic.com/34rc5df.gif ]]> Battle of Sexes Pixsurguy http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137772-ah-male-fidelity-wonderous-thing-indeed.html http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137756-trouble-women-etc.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:49:10 GMT Image: http://i36.tinypic.com/2qvaveh.jpg ]]> Battle of Sexes Pixsurguy http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137756-trouble-women-etc.html http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137725-women.html Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:09:39 GMT ]]> Battle of Sexes brilor http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137725-women.html http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137680-wanna-hear-joke.html Fri, 13 Nov 2009 09:45:00 GMT ]]> Battle of Sexes brilor http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137680-wanna-hear-joke.html http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137670-new-york-city-s-newest-store.html Fri, 13 Nov 2009 07:38:43 GMT A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.



The first floor has wives that love sex.



The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.


The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

]]> Battle of Sexes konifur2 http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137670-new-york-city-s-newest-store.html http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137636-revenge-sweet.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 17:39:21 GMT Image: http://content.imagesocket.com/images/picture_132d02.png (http://imagesocket.com/view/picture_132d02.png) ]]> Battle of Sexes brilor http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137636-revenge-sweet.html http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137609-cheating-wife.html Tue, 10 Nov 2009 08:21:00 GMT ]]> Battle of Sexes brilor http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137609-cheating-wife.html http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137596-moods-woman.html Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:18:33 GMT Image: http://image-uploader.com/files/jwe11mt5kov0e4xsrzu1.jpg (http://image-uploader.com/) ]]> Battle of Sexes essex boy http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137596-moods-woman.html http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137568-fantasy-night-night-renewal.html Sat, 07 Nov 2009 15:46:00 GMT My Wife and I have been married for 28 years. Even after all of these years, I will happily admit our sex life, I believe is above average. But I admittedly could be wrong. We still engage in regular amatory naked wresting matches under the sheets at least a couple times a week. I can’t say we’re always overly adventurous. In other words, the chandeliers and banisters in our house are feeling fairly safe. We are possibly the only couple in America that still has a waterbed. (Seriously we do!) While the days of my goal during sex being to create a tsunami are probably over, I still like to think I’m capable of creating a wave big enough to toss a pillow or two from the bed. We have certain positions we enjoy and our usual activity does tend to lean towards those, but at times we do attempt to spice it up a bit. One of the ways we’re doing this is by going back to our younger years when we would celebrate what we refer to as “Fantasy nights.” In fact we just celebrated one of these nights this past weekend. There’s only one rule for “Fantasy night” and that is neither partner can ever say no to any request made by the other partner, no matter how bizarre or strange it may be. It’s a complete night of rediscovering each other. Now I don’t want to give the wrong impressions here. “Fantasy night” isn’t always about sex, (Damn it, we need a rule change!) but it generally is because it always ends up with us holding each other in a very tight unseperatable way. However it can be other things as well. We switch whose night it is from month to month. Whoever’s turn it is picks a date, plans it all out, buys any necessary props that will be needed and is completely in charge of the flow of the evening. It can be romantic, it can be erotic, it can be as kinky as you want it to be, it can be simple, it can be whatever you want it to be. For example, on one of my nights, I choose for us to take a Dinner/Dance cruise on the Belle of Louisville, an old wooden paddleboat that cruises the Ohio River. We had a nice meal and danced on the deck under the stars. Afterwards we played in the fountains at the Belvedere, we walked, we talked, we held hands and we gazed into each other’s eyes for most of the evening. We took a carriage ride through the city and spent the night at the Galt House overlooking the river. It was an extraordinary evening and ended with us both huddled tightly in each other’s arms. So “Fantasy Night” can be role playing or just an elaborate night on the town, again it can be whatever you want it to be. If you want it to be just the two of you acting like teenagers, sitting in bed, drinking beer, telling stories, laughing and playing strip poker, it can be. If you want it to be having your Wife dress up as Snow White, while you play the part of a very naughty lying Pinocchio, it can be. I once had to play the part of a badly behaving Santa’s Elf, (this was around Christmas time) wearing what would loosely be described as silk green and gold boxers that had numerous tassels hanging down below with each tassel having these little bells dangling from the end of them. Granted, I felt silly wearing it at first and my body is more suited to be Santa than a naughty Elf, but later as the bells began ringing….I started feeling the part and it wasn’t long (referring to time here) before I felt uncontrollably passionate and naughty! The point is to let your hair down, let loose, get wild eyed, have some fun and enjoy yourself but most importantly reconnect with the one you love. I must state here our sex life is far from perfect, it still needs little push every now and then, I mean who’s after 28 years doesn’t? So fantasy nights have become very important to us. There are times when the two of us are tired and I know we’re both thinking, “Damn, we’re blowing a chance to have some good old fashion, work up a nice sweat, sex right now.” But we let it pass, enjoy just cuddling a bit, maybe play some footsies and fall to sleep. It happens. We always later regret it. With kids the chances you have become fewer and far between the older they get. I’m not embarrassed to say it, I’m a noise maker during sex. I find it hard to bite my tongue when there are other things I prefer to use it for. So with teenagers in the house, you have to pick your moments. Your fourteen-year-old son banging on the wall screaming, “HEY, do you mind I can hear you!” is not something you want to experience. Trust me on this, it’s happened! Like I said, with teenagers in the house, you have to pick your moments. And then on some evenings either one of us or both of us just simply are too tired or aren’t in the mood. So where am I heading with this? I’m not really sure. I guess sometimes you become complacent, comfortable and have a tendency to not see or appreciate the person your with. I don’t want my Wife and me ever to get to that place, where we don’t really appreciate or enjoy each other. I will say though for all of the years we’ve been together, I think we’re still doing pretty well. I still enjoy watching her undress at night. I sneak these little glances as she begins removing her clothes. I like watching her as she shakes her body back and forth as her nighty shimmers down over her body. She still walks in on me while I’m taking a shower and request from me the now infamous, atleast at my house, “Naked Boing, Boing dance.” (Don’t ask, just imagine!) So our sex life I think is at a minimum still above average. In fact, this little ramble has made me a little err…got me to thinking a bit. Perhaps I should call my Angel or maybe send her a text message. Just to let her know and have time to get ready, someone (me) may be in the mood to play. “Hey baby, whatcha doing? How about putting on that little nurse’s outfit that I like on you so much, Dr. Danger’s in the mood to make a house call. My Wife and I have been married for 28 years. Even after all of these years, I will happily admit our sex life, I believe is above average. But I admittedly could be wrong. We still engage in regular amatory naked wresting matches under the sheets at least a couple times a week. I can’t say we’re always overly adventurous. In other words, the chandeliers and banisters in our house are feeling fairly safe. We are possibly the only couple in America that still has a waterbed. (Seriously we do!) While the days of my goal during sex being to create a tsunami are probably over, I still like to think I’m capable of creating a wave big enough to toss a pillow or two from the bed. We have certain positions we enjoy and our usual activity does tend to lean towards those, but at times we do attempt to spice it up a bit. One of the ways we’re doing this is by going back to our younger years when we would celebrate what we refer to as “Fantasy nights.” In fact we just celebrated one of these nights this past weekend. There’s only one rule for “Fantasy night” and that is neither partner can ever say no to any request made by the other partner, no matter how bizarre or strange it may be. It’s a complete night of rediscovering each other.

Now I don’t want to give the wrong impressions here. “Fantasy night” isn’t always about sex, (Damn it, we need a rule change!) but it generally is because it always ends up with us holding each other in a very tight unseperatable way. However it can be other things as well. We switch whose night it is from month to month. Whoever’s turn it is picks a date, plans it all out, buys any necessary props that will be needed and is completely in charge of the flow of the evening. It can be romantic, it can be erotic, it can be as kinky as you want it to be, it can be simple, it can be whatever you want it to be.

For example, on one of my nights, I choose for us to take a Dinner/Dance cruise on the Belle of Louisville, an old wooden paddleboat that cruises the Ohio River. We had a nice meal and danced on the deck under the stars. Afterwards we played in the fountains at the Belvedere, we walked, we talked, we held hands and we gazed into each other’s eyes for most of the evening. We took a carriage ride through the city and spent the night at the Galt House overlooking the river. It was an extraordinary evening and ended with us both huddled tightly in each other’s arms. So “Fantasy Night” can be role playing or just an elaborate night on the town, again it can be whatever you want it to be. If you want it to be just the two of you acting like teenagers, sitting in bed, drinking beer, telling stories, laughing and playing strip poker, it can be. If you want it to be having your Wife dress up as Snow White, while you play the part of a very naughty lying Pinocchio, it can be. I once had to play the part of a badly behaving Santa’s Elf, (this was around Christmas time) wearing what would loosely be described as silk green and gold boxers that had numerous tassels hanging down below with each tassel having these little bells dangling from the end of them. Granted, I felt silly wearing it at first and my body is more suited to be Santa than a naughty Elf, but later as the bells began ringing….I started feeling the part and it wasn’t long (referring to time here) before I felt uncontrollably passionate and naughty! The point is to let your hair down, let loose, get wild eyed, have some fun and enjoy yourself but most importantly reconnect with the one you love.

I must state here our sex life is far from perfect, it still needs little push every now and then, I mean who’s after 28 years doesn’t? So fantasy nights have become very important to us. There are times when the two of us are tired and I know we’re both thinking, “Damn, we’re blowing a chance to have some good old fashion, work up a nice sweat, sex right now.” But we let it pass, enjoy just cuddling a bit, maybe play some footsies and fall to sleep. It happens. We always later regret it. With kids the chances you have become fewer and far between the older they get. I’m not embarrassed to say it, I’m a noise maker during sex. I find it hard to bite my tongue when there are other things I prefer to use it for. So with teenagers in the house, you have to pick your moments. Your fourteen-year-old son banging on the wall screaming, “HEY, do you mind I can hear you!” is not something you want to experience. Trust me on this, it’s happened! Like I said, with teenagers in the house, you have to pick your moments. And then on some evenings either one of us or both of us just simply are too tired or aren’t in the mood.

So where am I heading with this? I’m not really sure. I guess sometimes you become complacent, comfortable and have a tendency to not see or appreciate the person your with. I don’t want my Wife and me ever to get to that place, where we don’t really appreciate or enjoy each other. I will say though for all of the years we’ve been together, I think we’re still doing pretty well. I still enjoy watching her undress at night. I sneak these little glances as she begins removing her clothes. I like watching her as she shakes her body back and forth as her nighty shimmers down over her body. She still walks in on me while I’m taking a shower and request from me the now infamous, atleast at my house, “Naked Boing, Boing dance.” (Don’t ask, just imagine!) So our sex life I think is at a minimum still above average. In fact, this little ramble has made me a little err…got me to thinking a bit. Perhaps I should call my Angel or maybe send her a text message. Just to let her know and have time to get ready, someone (me) may be in the mood to play. “Hey baby, whatcha doing? How about putting on that little nurse’s outfit that I like on you so much, Dr. Danger’s in the mood to make a house call. ]]> Battle of Sexes Dangerously http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137568-fantasy-night-night-renewal.html http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137558-one-differences.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:22:53 GMT Image: http://i34.tinypic.com/dgi07d.jpg

]]> Battle of Sexes squirt http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137558-one-differences.html http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137455-top-10-reasons-god-created-eve.html Mon, 02 Nov 2009 18:39:30 GMT

Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve

10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions.

9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote.

8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him.

7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment for himself.

6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.

5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle childbearing.

4. As "Keeper of the Garden," Adam would never remember where he put his tools.

3. The scripture account of creation indicates Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone!"

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, "I can do better than that." ]]> Battle of Sexes Pixsurguy http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137455-top-10-reasons-god-created-eve.html http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137421-blood-transfusions.html Sat, 31 Oct 2009 15:13:36 GMT British Medical Association researchers have found that**Patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving ****chicken blood**** rather than human blood. ** **It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better. ** **Just thought you'd like to know...** ]]> Blood transfusions

British Medical Association researchers have found that Patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood. It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better. Just thought you'd like to know...

]]> Battle of Sexes konifur2 http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137421-blood-transfusions.html http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137383-when-i-grow-up.html Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:21:58 GMT Image: http://image-uploader.com/files/8n5epr5mjx76tejs53tr.jpg (http://image-uploader.com/) ]]> Battle of Sexes Bamber http://board.jokeroo.com/battle-sexes/137383-when-i-grow-up.html