Philosophy Of Sex

[squirt]

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
*--Tom Clancy*

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
*--Steve Martin*

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
*--Woody Allen*

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
*--Rodney Dangerfield*

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
*--Lynn Lavner*

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
*--Matt Barry*

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
*--George Burns*

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
*--George Burns*

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
*--Sharon Stone*

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex --- no matter what she's reading."
*--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)*

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
*--Jack Nicholson*

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
*--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)*

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
*--Robin Williams*

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
*--Roseanne*

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
*--Billy Crystal*

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
*--Robert De Niro*

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
*--Dustin Hoffman*

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
*--Jerry Seinfeld*

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
*--Rod Stewart*

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
*--Robin Williams*

[mountainlion20032003]

Originally Posted by squirt

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
*--Tom Clancy*

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
*--Steve Martin*

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
*--Woody Allen*

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
*--Rodney Dangerfield*

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
*--Lynn Lavner*

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
*--Matt Barry*

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
*--George Burns*

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
*--George Burns*

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
*--Sharon Stone*

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex --- no matter what she's reading."
*--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)*

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
*--Jack Nicholson*

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
*--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)*

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
*--Robin Williams*

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
*--Roseanne*

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
*--Billy Crystal*

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
*--Robert De Niro*

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
*--Dustin Hoffman*

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
*--Jerry Seinfeld*

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
*--Rod Stewart*

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
*--Robin Williams*

Yikes! Some of these people wer pretty harsh! LMAO!

[squirt]

Originally Posted by mountainlion20032003

Yikes! Some of these people wer pretty harsh! LMAO!

I think the first one is my favorite lol

[GoldCoast]

Originally Posted by squirt

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
*--Tom Clancy*

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
*--Steve Martin*

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
*--Woody Allen*

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
*--Rodney Dangerfield*

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
*--Lynn Lavner*

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
*--Matt Barry*

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
*--George Burns*

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
*--George Burns*

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
*--Sharon Stone*

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex --- no matter what she's reading."
*--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)*

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
*--Jack Nicholson*

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
*--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)*

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
*--Robin Williams*

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
*--Roseanne*

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
*--Billy Crystal*

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
*--Robert De Niro*

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
*--Dustin Hoffman*

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
*--Jerry Seinfeld*

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
*--Rod Stewart*

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
*--Robin Williams*

Once you bust a nut it's all over.. Until you drink a few beers and come back for another stab at the ole slime hole..

Drink a few more beers and then stagger in to wake your loved one up and make her go down on you so that you can get it hard again and bust another nut...

Go back outside with your friends to get into a fight about who's dick is bigger and get knocked over the porch railing with your pants hanging around you ankles..

Wake up with your pants still around your ankles with piss hardon after blacking out for three hours only to find that your friends have left and the neighbors are camped out eating popcorn while sitting on lawn chairs with their floodlights on pointed at you..

Stagger back into the house for another shot of ass, but wind up tripping over the dog and falling face first into the cat's litterbox...

Wake up the next day and complain to the wife about her letting you sleep in shit all night long...

Then ask for another shot of ass, before you take your stinking ass to the bed....

[squirt]

just a hopeless romantic, aren't you? lmao

[squirt]

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
*--Elmo Phillips*

" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
*--Oscar Wilde*

" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention ofgetting married."
*--George Burns*

"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
*--Joan Rivers*

[sexysadie]

"Sex is part of nature. I go along with nature." Marilyn Monroe