Today's Quote

[mountainlion20032003]

Classic Quotes by Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) British Author

A man's mind is wont to tell him more than seven watchmen sitting in a tower.

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A people always ends by resembling its shadow.

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A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

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A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty.

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All the people like us are we, and everyone else is They.

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An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.

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And that is called paying the Dane-geld; but we've proved it again and again, that if once you have paid him the Dane-geld you never get rid of the Dane.

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And the first rude sketch that the world had seen was joy to his mighty heart, till the Devil whispered behind the leaves "It's pretty, but is it Art?"

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Borrow trouble for yourself, if that's your nature, but don't lend it to your neighbors.

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Call a truce, then, to our labors - let us feast with friends and neighbors, and be merry as the custom of our caste; for if "faint and forced the laughter," and if sadness follow after, we are richer by one mocking Christmas past.

[mountainlion20032003]

1. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don’t expect it back .

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Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

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I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. (Oscar Wilde)

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Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. (Homer Simpson)

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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. ( Whitney Brown )

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When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity. (Albert Einstein)

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Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge. (Jerry Seinfeld)

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Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’? (Jay Leno)