02-27-2009, 10:52 PM
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#3201 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
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Location: North Dakota! Roaming In Mountainlion Country!
Posts: 77,693
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"Last night, our president delivered his first State of the Union address. It was very well received. In fact, they're saying it was the best State of the Union address ever delivered by an African-American president." --Jimmy Kimmel
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02-27-2009, 10:54 PM
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#3202 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North Dakota! Roaming In Mountainlion Country!
Posts: 77,693
Rep Power: 3907 |
"No, but it's hurting everyone all over. You heard about this, the Oscars are going to be a lot less gaudy this year. The Oscars, where I'm a presenter this year ... in the category I should have been nominated in. ... No, my money is on 'Slumdog Millionaire,' which is also what I call my broker" --Bill Maher
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02-27-2009, 10:56 PM
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#3203 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North Dakota! Roaming In Mountainlion Country!
Posts: 77,693
Rep Power: 3907 |
"Archaeologists are going nuts in this town because they found the preserved skeleton of a 10,000-year-old mammoth while digging near the L.A. County Museum of Art. Of course, people all over the world are stunned. L.A. has a museum of art? What? And Larry King is furious. He thought he was the oldest thing in L.A. Apparently not." --Jay Leno
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02-27-2009, 10:57 PM
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#3204 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North Dakota! Roaming In Mountainlion Country!
Posts: 77,693
Rep Power: 3907 |
"Sarah Palin, the governor of Alaska, owes $70,000 in taxes, but listen to this. She's blaming it on Alex Rodriguez's cousin." --David Letterman
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02-27-2009, 10:59 PM
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#3205 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North Dakota! Roaming In Mountainlion Country!
Posts: 77,693
Rep Power: 3907 |
"Airports all around the country now are switching from metal detectors to those high-tech scanning machines that show a naked image of your body. And this is raising a lot of privacy concerns, especially among women. The good news? Airport security guys now are paying attention 100%." --Jay Leno
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02-27-2009, 11:01 PM
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#3206 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North Dakota! Roaming In Mountainlion Country!
Posts: 77,693
Rep Power: 3907 |
"There's a new study that says that in America, rich people are ruder than poor people. This is shocking because I didn't know America had any rich people left." --Craig Ferguson
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02-27-2009, 11:03 PM
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#3207 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North Dakota! Roaming In Mountainlion Country!
Posts: 77,693
Rep Power: 3907 |
"President Obama made his first trip abroad today. He visited Canada, and let me tell you something: If Obama can finally mend our relationship with Canada, well then we'll know this guy really is on to something." --Jimmy Kimmel
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02-27-2009, 11:05 PM
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#3208 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North Dakota! Roaming In Mountainlion Country!
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"Are you excited about the Academy Awards? There is a film in the Best Documentary category about Vice President Dick Cheney and his relationship with the Saudis. And you know what the name of that one is? 'Lawrence of Arrhythmia.'" --David Letterman
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02-27-2009, 11:06 PM
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#3209 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North Dakota! Roaming In Mountainlion Country!
Posts: 77,693
Rep Power: 3907 |
"Hey, at 7:00 a.m. this morning, California finally passed a budget. We have a budget in California. The impasse was finally broken when Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger threatened to make a sequel to 'Kindergarten Cop.'" --Jay Leno
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