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#1 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Mar 2004
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When Insults had Class "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway) "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." Groucho Marx "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." Mark Twain "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." Oscar Wilde "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one." George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill... followed by Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." Winston Churchill "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." Stephen Bishop "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." John Bright "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." Irvin S. Cobb "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." Samuel Johnson "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." Paul Keating "He had delusions of adequacy." Walter Kerr "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" Mark Twain "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." Mae West "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." Oscar Wilde
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#3 (permalink) |
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Senior Member
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One of the more famous ones attributed to Sir Winston (and certainly my favorite) was in response to a comment by a woman who told him that if he was her husband she'd give him poison. His response? "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd take it."
hehehehehehehehe Another one that he supposedly said, though I've heard it said by modern stand-up comics a time or two, was where a woman at a party said: "Sir !! You are drunk!!" Supposedly he responded as follows: "Yes, madam, I am drunk. But you are ugly and in the morning I'll be sober".
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Super Moderator
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