Funny Quotes

mazbut · 10-09-2009, 03:22 PM

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

**squirt** · 10-09-2009, 08:54 PM

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family does too.

Anonymous

mazbut · 10-09-2009, 08:56 PM

You cannot pull my hair with one finger! lol

**squirt** · 10-09-2009, 09:09 PM

don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweatty stuff lol

hortysir · 10-09-2009, 09:11 PM

Bite me
~Sookie Stackhouse

**squirt** · 10-09-2009, 09:17 PM

lol

Kiss this

some country artist lol

hortysir · 10-09-2009, 09:25 PM

Aaron Tippin---builds a bicycle during his concert and then gives it to a kid in the audience

**squirt** · 10-09-2009, 09:38 PM

awwwwwwwwwwwwwww ...

tyvm ♥

mazbut · 10-10-2009, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by squirt

awwwwwwwwwwwwwww ...

tyvm ♥

A Miss is as good as a Mule?

10-09-2009, 03:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
mazbut Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Karachi,Pakistan Posts: 1,382 Rep Power: 413	Funny Quotes 1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have. 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand. 14. OK, so what's the speed of dark? 15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice? 20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name? 21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?" 22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. 23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

10-09-2009, 08:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,993 Rep Power: 8572	Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family does too. Anonymous __________________

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
October Posts of the Day Results	CJnDee	The Society	22	11-15-2004 01:55 AM
Quotes about France	theifoncross	The Debate	6	10-16-2004 11:51 AM
Funny Quotes from South Park	Miss-Teddy-Bear	Famous Quotes	7	03-31-2004 03:47 PM
Funny Quotes from South Park	Miss-Teddy-Bear	Funny Jokes	3	03-25-2004 06:11 AM

Jokeroo

My Account

Help & Info

10-09-2009, 08:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
mazbut Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Karachi,Pakistan Posts: 1,382 Rep Power: 413	You cannot pull my hair with one finger! lol

10-09-2009, 09:09 PM	#4 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,993 Rep Power: 8572	don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweatty stuff lol

10-09-2009, 09:11 PM	#5 (permalink)
hortysir Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: South...Thank God! Posts: 19,853 Rep Power: 3634	Bite me ~Sookie Stackhouse

10-09-2009, 09:17 PM	#6 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,993 Rep Power: 8572	lol Kiss this some country artist lol

10-09-2009, 09:25 PM	#7 (permalink)
hortysir Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: South...Thank God! Posts: 19,853 Rep Power: 3634	Aaron Tippin---builds a bicycle during his concert and then gives it to a kid in the audience

10-09-2009, 09:38 PM	#8 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,993 Rep Power: 8572	awwwwwwwwwwwwwww ... tyvm ♥