Little Johnny

[biggin]

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'

Miss Rogers: 'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'

Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".

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One day, while sitting in school little Johnnys teacher informs the class that today, to learn new vocabulary, that the students will have to come up with a word for different letters of the alphabet. Little Johnny is the first to raise his hand, however the teacher is afraid to call on him remembering the incident with the rat. The class goes through most of the alphabet and make there way to w. The teacher decides to call on Johnny and asks 'what is your word for W Johnny?' He replies 'Whoom' Confused she says 'Womb?' he says 'Whoom you know like two elephants fuckin whoom, whoom, whoom'.

[Pixsurguy]

The visiting church school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class who broke down the walls of Jericho. Little Johnny replies that he does not know, but it definitely is not him.

The supervisor, taken aback by this lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident.

The principal replies that he knows little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them, if little Johnny said that he did not do it, he as principal is satisfied that it is the truth.

Even more appalled the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story.

After listening he replies: "I cannot see why you are making such a big issue out of this; we will get three quotations and fix the damned wall."

**********

Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy
bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across
from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you.
It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

Little Johnny answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business!"

[Pixsurguy]

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot."

The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then Little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU.
There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well I suppose
the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone"

To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on,... but I like your thinking."

[Pixsurguy]

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
"But that's right!"

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.

"That's what I said!

[Pixsurguy]

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'
Miss Rogers: "All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'

Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".

[squirt]

Originally Posted by Crudebug

This young Johnny seems awfuly familiar to you Squirtie...
Is he one of the famous Squirteroo grandkids?
rotflmao

Little Johnny is infamous, known for his mischief lol my grandson's names are Justin and Sebastian lol

[squirt]

The science teacher stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?"

Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Corvette." The teacher nodded, and then she called on little Susie.

Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche." The teacher smiled, and then she called on Little Johnny.

Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicone." The teacher said, "Silicone?

Why silicone, Little Johnny?"

"Because my mom has two bags of the stuff and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!"

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The nice lady teacher decides to play a guessing game with her second grade students one day. She reaches into her desk drawer and says, "Jenny, I have something in my hand. It's round, sweet and orange in color. What is it?" "That's easy! It's an orange!" Little Jenny says. "Correct!" says the teacher. She then reaches into the drawer and says, "Billy, I have something in my hand. It's long, skinny and yellow. What is it?" Little Billy thinks for a minute and says, "It's a pencil!" "Correct!" says the teacher. Before she has a chance to reach into her desk again, Little Johnny stands up and, with his hand in his pocket, says, "Hey teacher! I have my hand on something. It's round, hard and has a head on it." "Johnny!" the teacher exclaims. "You march to the principal's office right NOW, young man!" As he walks past the teacher, Little Johnny removes his hand from his pocket and pulls out a quarter.

[squirt]

Little Johnny says "Mom, what kind of bird brings white babies?" His mom says, "Why, a stork, little Johnny." Little Johnny says, "Mom, what kind of bird brings black babies?" His mom says, "A raven, dear." Little Johnny then says, "Then what kind of bird brings no babies at all?" His mom says, "A swallow!"