03-09-2007, 12:03 PM
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Little Johnny
Little Johnny's father noticed that Johnny was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate Little Johnny into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, his father said, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
Little Johnny replied, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."
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03-10-2007, 02:25 AM
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One day the teacher asked the children in class to give examples of what was not good to put in one's mouth. Little Johnny says "It is not good to put a lit light bulb in one's mouth." The teacher says "That is correct, but why?" Little Johnny answers "I don't know, but my Mom always tells my dad "turn off the light before you put it in my mouth!"
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03-10-2007, 11:27 AM
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Quote:
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03-10-2007, 07:03 PM
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#7 (permalink) |
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A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike.
"Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300," he asked. "Easy, Dad," little Johnny replied. "I earned it hiking." "Come on Johnny," the father said. "Tell me the truth." "That is the truth!" Johnny replied. "Every night you were gone, Mom's boss, Mr. Reynolds, would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike!"
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03-12-2007, 01:33 AM
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One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "Beautiful" in the same sentences twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought My mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just freakin beautiful!'
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03-12-2007, 09:02 AM
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One day little Johnny went into the bathroom and saw his daddy putting on a rubber. He asked, dad what are you doing? His dad replied, son I am going to catch some mice. Little Johnny said, what are you gonna do fuck em?
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03-12-2007, 08:01 PM
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lmfao ... that was good! lol
Little Johnny greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that my dear?" she asked. Little Johnny replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the fucking walls if you came to visit us again."
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