Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Sophisticated Puns ...

  1. #1
    Super Moderator squirt's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Posts
    615,464
    Rep Power
    14944

    Default Sophisticated Puns ...

    1. Two vultures boarded a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess stops them and says "sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger."

    2. NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into orbit for experimental purposes. They called it " the herd shot round the world."

    3. Two boll weevils grew up in S. Carolina. One took off to Hollywood and became a rich star. The other stayed in Carolina and never amounted to much -- and naturally became known as " the lesser of two weevils."

    4. Two Eskimos in a kayak were chilly, so they started a fire, which sank the craft, proving the old adage, " you can't have your kayak and heat it too."

    5. A 3-legged dog walks into an old west saloon, slides up to the bar and announces, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

    6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who went to the dentist, and refused to take Novocain? "He wanted to transcend dental medication."

    7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and met in the lobby where they were discussing their recent victories in chess tournaments. The hotel manager came out of the office after an hour, and asked them to disperse. " He couldn't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

    8. A women has twins, gives them up for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and is named "Ahmal" The other is sent to a Spanish family and is named "Juan". Years later, Juan sends his birth mother a picture of himself. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. He replies, "They're twins for Pete sake! "If you've seen Juan, you've see Ahmal!"

    9. A group of friars opened a florist shop to help with their belfry payments. Everyone liked to buy flowers from the Men of God, so their business flourished. A rival florist became upset that his business was suffering because people felt compelled to buy from the Friars, so he asked the Friars to cut back hours or close down. The Friars refused. The florist went to them and begged that they shut down. Again, they refused. Therefore, the florist hired Hugh McTaggert, the biggest meanest thug in town. He went to the Friars' shop, beat them up, destroyed their flowers, trashed their shop, and said that if they did not close, he would be back. Well, very terrified, the Friars closed up shop and hid in their rooms. "This proved that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars."

    10. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life, which created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from very bad breath. This made him ... what? (This is so bad it's good ...) -- "a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis."

    11. Finally... There once was a man who sent ten puns to some friend in hopes at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately "no pun in ten did."










    If Jesus is not risen, then our hope is in vain, empty
    And to believe a falsehood could be of no use to anyone
    Christ had been raised, as He said He would be ♥

  2. #2
    Super Moderator squirt's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Posts
    615,464
    Rep Power
    14944

    Default

    A young missionary on his first term in Africa was reading his Bible in a clearing when a lion came up and laid down beside him. As he quietly prayed for deliverance, another lion came out of the bush and laid down by his other side. Convinced that this was a test of his faith, he returned to reading his Bible. As soon as he did, the two lions pounced on him and devoured him. Moral: Don't try to read between the lions.

  3. #3
    Super Moderator squirt's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Posts
    615,464
    Rep Power
    14944

    Default

    Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!

    Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?"The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

  4. #4
    Jokeroo Immortal ♪ Grouchie ♪'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    ~Love~Live~Laugh~Happiness~
    Posts
    254,240
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    lol

  5. #5
    Super Moderator squirt's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Posts
    615,464
    Rep Power
    14944

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lil_ms_grouch712003 View Post
    lol
    sexy brilor says I'm the queen of puns lol










    If Jesus is not risen, then our hope is in vain, empty
    And to believe a falsehood could be of no use to anyone
    Christ had been raised, as He said He would be ♥

Similar Threads

  1. Puns can't get enough of them ?
    By indianajoe in forum Funny Jokes
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 08-18-2009, 10:18 PM
  2. Obama's Sophisticated Official Car‏
    By stevent222 in forum Funny Jokes
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-06-2009, 03:20 PM
  3. We guys - SO sophisticated and suave.
    By Pixsurguy in forum Funny Pictures [Adults Only]
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 12-10-2007, 05:09 PM
  4. Sophisticated Jack!
    By brilor in forum Funny Pictures
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 12-06-2006, 09:34 PM
  5. Puns,Puns~Puns!
    By sassypants in forum Famous Quotes
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-22-2004, 09:55 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Funny videos, funny pictures and free online games is the nature and meaning of Jokeroo. With countless users around the world uploading, they are slowling building a wealth of great content. Did I mention that they are earning from that content? If you have any funny videos, pictures or fun games, upload it to Jokeroo and watch your balance grow!

© 2010 JMG - Jolted Media Group Ltd. All Rights Reserved.