02-15-2008, 02:06 PM
|
#134 (permalink) |
|
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: VANCOUVER ISLAND CANADA
Posts: 8,117
Rep Power: 1914   |
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!" A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde Said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian, to which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
__________________
   ****************** |
|
|
|
02-15-2008, 02:08 PM
|
#135 (permalink) |
|
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: VANCOUVER ISLAND CANADA
Posts: 8,117
Rep Power: 1914 |
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with the expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. This week, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them. It was quite obvious he was trying to put one over on me so I told him: " just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. Then I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told ME last year... namely, that in ONE YEAR these windows would ! pay for themselves! Helllooooo? It's been a year! (I told him.) There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up....He didn't call back. Guess I proved to him who was the smart one huh???
__________________
****************** |
|
|
|
|
02-17-2008, 06:51 AM
|
#137 (permalink) |
|
Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: In between the devil and the deep blue sea!
Posts: 69,373
Rep Power: 5142 |
An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."
"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over." "Great," the blonde answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot." A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!" "I don't understand how that could be", said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!" "That may be true," answered the blonde wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!" |
|
|
|
|
02-18-2008, 11:52 PM
|
#138 (permalink) |
|
Super Moderator
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 355,958
Rep Power: 8572 |
A man is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs.
To his delight, he realizes she has gone without under- wear. The blonde realizes he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?" "Yes, I'm sorry," replies the man and promises to avert his eyes. "It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss. The man, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman. The man stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. "Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. The man moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?" Stunned, the man replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle too! |
|
|
|
02-19-2008, 05:28 AM
|
#139 (permalink) |
|
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: VANCOUVER ISLAND CANADA
Posts: 8,117
Rep Power: 1914 |
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead stranded on an island. They all decided they would each take a turn swimming for the next island over to get help.
The red head went first, didn't even make it half way, and swam back because she was tired. The brunette goes second, makes it half way, and swims back because she is tired. Now it was the blonde's turn. So she starts swimming. An hour later, she returns. The brunette asks her how far she got. The blonde said, "I made it to the other island, but i got tired and swam back."
__________________
****************** |
|
|
|
|
02-20-2008, 11:13 AM
|
#140 (permalink) |
|
Jokaroo VIP Status
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: In between the devil and the deep blue sea!
Posts: 69,373
Rep Power: 5142 |
A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at ''Lovers' Cove'' where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.
''NO!'' yelled the blonde. The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again. ''NO!'' the blonde yelled again. Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped. ''Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?'' asked the guy. ''For the last time, NO!'' said the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asked, ''Well, why the hell not?'' The blonde looked at him and said, ''Because I wanna stay up here with you.'' |
|
|
|
CONGRATS ON POST-OF-DAY.
