Todays Blonde Joke...... - Page 16

**squirt** · 02-27-2008, 10:05 PM

A blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. T-shirt. "Why are you wearing a 'Thank God it's Friday 'T-shirt on Monday?" her friend asks. "Oh shoot!" the blonde says, "I thought it meant 'Tits Go In Front!'"

LAWRENCE · 02-28-2008, 12:22 PM

Mike picked up an attractive Blonde woman, named Linda, who flagged down his car in a seedy part of town. As they rode, he asked her what she did for a living. Linda winked at Mike and said, "I'm a magician."
"No way," Mike scoffed. 'Prove it." So Linda touched him on the thigh, and "Poof" Mike turned into a hotel.

brilor · 02-29-2008, 06:26 AM

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. No woman, said one man, scornfully, can keep a secret.

I dont know about that, answered a blonde woman guest. I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.

Youll let it out some day, the man insisted.

I hardly think so responded the blonde lady. When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.

ADT1985 · 02-29-2008, 05:54 PM

What do you call a yellow haired dinosaur?LOL

A Blondysaurus.LOL

LAWRENCE · 03-01-2008, 11:50 AM

It seems that a young blonde man volunteered for military service
during World War II. Despite being blonde, he had such a high
aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Pensecola
skipping boot camp.

The very first day at Pensecola he solos and is the best flier on
the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and
assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.

On his first day aboard he took off and single-handedly shot down
6 Japanese Zeroes. Then climbing up to 20,000 ft. he found 9 more
Japanese planes and shot them all down, too.

Noting that his fuel was getting low, he descended, circled the
carrier and came in for a perfect landing on the deck. He threw
back the canopy, climbed out and jogged over to the captain.

Saluting smartly he said, "Well sir, how did I do on my very
first day?"

The captain replied, "You make one velly impoltant mistake!"

LAWRENCE · 03-03-2008, 01:21 PM

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn".

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

brilor · 03-05-2008, 06:32 AM

A blonde thought if she died her hair brown she would become smarter. Whilst driving in the country she spotted this farmer herding sheep and asked him "If I guess how many sheep you have will you let me have one?" The man said "Sure." Well she looked over and over and said 73. He said "Wow your good." So the blonde claimed her prize. While walking her back to the car the man said "If I guess your hair color can you give me my dog back?"

LAWRENCE · 03-10-2008, 04:01 PM

A blonde brunette and a red head were all getting chased by a farmer, so the brunette hid in the dog house, the red head hid in the cat house, and the blonde hid in a sack of potatoes. The farmer came in and kicked the dog house, the brunette barked and he thought that was normal. he kicked the cat house and the red head meowed, he thought that was normal.
He kicked the sack of potatoes and the blonde went "Patatoe" "patatoe"

brilor · 03-10-2008, 05:21 PM

I kinda think she's had her chips!

brilor · 03-11-2008, 08:23 AM

Three blonde women were stranded on an island. While trying to dig their way out, one of finds a buried lamp and rubs it. Suddenly a genie appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish, in return for saving him.

The first blonde woman asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into brunette and she swims off the island.

The second blonde woman asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one. She is instantly turned into a black haired woman, builds a boat and sails off the island.

The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The genie turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.

02-27-2008, 10:05 PM	#151 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 263,224 Rep Power: 100	lmao @ BH ... A blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. T-shirt. "Why are you wearing a 'Thank God it's Friday 'T-shirt on Monday?" her friend asks. "Oh shoot!" the blonde says, "I thought it meant 'Tits Go In Front!'"

02-28-2008, 12:22 PM	#152 (permalink)
LAWRENCE Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: VANCOUVER ISLAND CANADA Posts: 6,387 Rep Power: 661	Mike picked up an attractive Blonde woman, named Linda, who flagged down his car in a seedy part of town. As they rode, he asked her what she did for a living. Linda winked at Mike and said, "I'm a magician." "No way," Mike scoffed. 'Prove it." So Linda touched him on the thigh, and "Poof" Mike turned into a hotel. __________________ ******************

02-29-2008, 05:54 PM	#154 (permalink)
ADT1985 Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Southend On Sea Posts: 313 Rep Power: 55	Blond hair joke What do you call a yellow haired dinosaur?LOL A Blondysaurus.LOL __________________

03-01-2008, 11:50 AM	#155 (permalink)
LAWRENCE Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: VANCOUVER ISLAND CANADA Posts: 6,387 Rep Power: 661	It seems that a young blonde man volunteered for military service during World War II. Despite being blonde, he had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Pensecola skipping boot camp. The very first day at Pensecola he solos and is the best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific. On his first day aboard he took off and single-handedly shot down 6 Japanese Zeroes. Then climbing up to 20,000 ft. he found 9 more Japanese planes and shot them all down, too. Noting that his fuel was getting low, he descended, circled the carrier and came in for a perfect landing on the deck. He threw back the canopy, climbed out and jogged over to the captain. Saluting smartly he said, "Well sir, how did I do on my very first day?" The captain replied, "You make one velly impoltant mistake!" __________________ ******************

03-03-2008, 01:21 PM	#156 (permalink)
LAWRENCE Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: VANCOUVER ISLAND CANADA Posts: 6,387 Rep Power: 661	The Smart Blonde A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn". She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. __________________ ******************

02-29-2008, 06:26 AM	#153 (permalink)
brilor Jokaroo VIP Status Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: In between the devil and the deep blue sea! Posts: 53,147 Rep Power: 2193	At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. No woman, said one man, scornfully, can keep a secret. I dont know about that, answered a blonde woman guest. I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one. Youll let it out some day, the man insisted. I hardly think so responded the blonde lady. When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.

03-05-2008, 06:32 AM	#157 (permalink)
brilor Jokaroo VIP Status Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: In between the devil and the deep blue sea! Posts: 53,147 Rep Power: 2193	A blonde thought if she died her hair brown she would become smarter. Whilst driving in the country she spotted this farmer herding sheep and asked him "If I guess how many sheep you have will you let me have one?" The man said "Sure." Well she looked over and over and said 73. He said "Wow your good." So the blonde claimed her prize. While walking her back to the car the man said "If I guess your hair color can you give me my dog back?"

03-10-2008, 04:01 PM	#158 (permalink)
LAWRENCE Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: VANCOUVER ISLAND CANADA Posts: 6,387 Rep Power: 661	A blonde brunette and a red head were all getting chased by a farmer, so the brunette hid in the dog house, the red head hid in the cat house, and the blonde hid in a sack of potatoes. The farmer came in and kicked the dog house, the brunette barked and he thought that was normal. he kicked the cat house and the red head meowed, he thought that was normal. He kicked the sack of potatoes and the blonde went "Patatoe" "patatoe" __________________ ******************

03-10-2008, 05:21 PM	#159 (permalink)
brilor Jokaroo VIP Status Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: In between the devil and the deep blue sea! Posts: 53,147 Rep Power: 2193	I kinda think she's had her chips!

03-11-2008, 08:23 AM	#160 (permalink)
brilor Jokaroo VIP Status Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: In between the devil and the deep blue sea! Posts: 53,147 Rep Power: 2193	Three blonde women were stranded on an island. While trying to dig their way out, one of finds a buried lamp and rubs it. Suddenly a genie appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish, in return for saving him. The first blonde woman asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into brunette and she swims off the island. The second blonde woman asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one. She is instantly turned into a black haired woman, builds a boat and sails off the island. The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The genie turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.