Todays Blonde Joke......

[brilor]

There were these two blondes standing outside in a parking lot next to there Mercedes vehicle. They were locked out so they were trying to get the door open with a close hanger.

The first blonde said, “You need to try harder. It’s starting to rain and the top is down!”

[LAWRENCE]

A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs.
A blonde female crew member took the box and promised to put it in
The crew's' refrigerator, which she did. The man firmly advised her that
He was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen,
And proceeded to rant at herabout what would happen if she let them
Thaw out. She was very annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before
Landing in New York , she announced over the intercom to the entire
Cabin, 'Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in NewOrleans, please
Raise your hand?' Not one hand went up. So she took them home and ate
Them herself. Men never learn. Blondes aren't as dumb as you may think!

[LAWRENCE]

Bambi and Cathy, two beautiful, buxom, blondes, are waiting at a bus
stop. When a bus pulls up and opens the door, Cathy leans inside and
asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to the Westside Pavilion
Shopping Mall?"

The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm Sorry."

At this point Bambi leans inside, smiles and twitters, and asks,
"Will it take ME?

[LAWRENCE]

Q. Why doesn't a blonde talk during sex?

A. Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers

[LAWRENCE]

A statuesque blonde walked into a dinner party on the arm of a bald, elderly, scowling tycoon. A society lady approached the young lovely to admire the huge shimmering gemstone hanging around her neck. "I must tell you," the matron exclaimed, "that you are wearing the most incredible piece of jewelry I have ever seen." "That," the blonde responded, "is the one-and-only Blanton diamond." "I'm surprised I've never heard of it," the woman marveled. "I study famous gems as a hobby." "Well," the chippy revealed, "the Blanton diamond has an ancient, unspeakably evil curse attached to it. ""Really?" the woman queried. "What could that be?" The blonde grimaced and gestured toward the tycoon. "Mr. Blanton, over there."

[brilor]

This guy in a bar notices a blonde woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move.
"No thank you," she said politely." "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love."
"That must be rather difficult," the man replied.
"Oh, I don't mind too much," she said. "But, it makes my husband pretty upset."

[brilor]

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head escaping from jail. The brunette ran up a tree and a police officer yells "who is there?" and the brunette says "tweet tweet". So the police officer walks away.

Then, the redhead runs up the tree and the police officer says "who is there?" and the red head says "meow" so the police officer walks away.

So the blonde runs up the tree and the police officer says "who is there?" the blonde says "moooo"

[LAWRENCE]

Two blondes were skiing at Aspen, when they got into a debate about
the best way to ski down a particular hill.

"The best way is down the left side of the course, where it's nearly
all powder," said the first blonde.

"No, the best way is straight down the middle, where the snow is
packed tight," argued the other.

"Look," said the first blonde. "Let's get another opinion. There's a
guy dragging a sled up the hill. Let's go ask him."

The second blonde agreed, and in a few minutes the two caught up with
the guy.

"Excuse me," said the first blonde. "I say the best way to ski down
this hill is to take the left side of the course, where it's nearly
all powder, and my friend thinks the best way is straight down the
middle, where the snow is packed tight. Can you tell us who's right?"

"Sorry, ladies," said the man, "but there's no use in asking me. I'm
a tobogganist."

"Oh," said the second blonde. "Well, in that case, can I get a pack
of Marlboros?"

[Marky_D_Sahdd]

Originally Posted by LAWRENCE

Q. Why doesn't a blonde talk during sex?

A. Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers

...Or talk with her mouth full.

[brilor]

A Blonde walks into the local dry cleaners.
She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to
pick up my dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the half deaf worker.
"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."