Todays Blonde Joke......

[brilor]

A Blonde goes into a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies: "You can't, that's a fire extinguisher."

[LAWRENCE]

A Blonde saleswoman for a major condom company was required to
travel cross-country to meet a prospective buyer. Her boss asked
her to take about 100 condoms of various types with her.As she
was running late for her flight, she simply stuffed them all into
her briefcase. The cab ride to the airport was delayed by traffic
and she had just enough time to throw her ticket at the counter
and run onto the plane.
As she jumped into the airplane, she dropped her briefcase and
all the condoms flew out all over the floor in front of all the she
passengers and crew. They all stared amazed at the display and then
looked at who said sheepishly, "I'm meeting a new client."

[brilor]

There was a blond a brunette, and a red-head and they were walking down the street.
A short man came up to them and said: in that castle there is a magic mirror, if u look into the mirror and tell the truth you will be granted any wish you please, but if you lie you will be banished into the mirror forever
The girls went to the castle and the red-head went in first shhe said:
I think I am the prettiest out of the blond and the brunette, she got a pot of silver.
Next the brunette went in she said:
I think I am the smartest out of the red-head and the blond, she got a new car.
The blond went in to try her luck she walked up to the mirror and said:
I think...
She was vanished into the mirror forever.

[LAWRENCE]

A blonde thought if she dyed her hair brown she would become
smarter. Whilst driving in the country she spotted this
farmer herding sheep and asked him "If I guess how many
sheep you have will you let me have one?" The man said
"Sure." Well she looked over and over and said 73. He said
"Wow you're good." So the blonde claimed her prize. While
walking her back to the car the man said "If I guess your
hair color can you give me my dog back?"

[LAWRENCE]

Eleven women were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest.
Ten were blonde, one was a brunette. As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If that didn’t happen the rope would break, and everyone would perish.
For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered. Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.
The blondes applauded.

[LAWRENCE]

There once was a blonde who had two horses, but she couldn’t tell
them apart. So she goes to her friend and says, "I have two horses and
I just can’t tell them apart.” The friend suggested that she cut off one’s
mane. The blonde did, but the mane grew back. She goes to her
friend again, and the friend suggested she cut off one of the horses’
tails. The blonde did, but the tail grew back too fast. So she finally
says to her friend, “I’ve tried all of your suggestions, but it just
doesn’t work.” The friend suggests one more thing, that she
measure them. The blonde went home, got a ruler, measured
them, and went to her friend the next morning. The blonde tells
her friend, "Oh, thank you! I can tell them apart!” “How?” asked
the friend. The blonde tells her, "The black horse is taller
than the white horse!”

[LAWRENCE]

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!'' The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

[ern59]

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department.
>
> One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and
> fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the
> other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day
> without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in
> again.
>
> An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but could not
> understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm
> impressed by the effort
> you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do
> you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up
> again?"
>
> The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it
> probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But
> today the girl who
> plants the trees called in sick."

[LAWRENCE]

"Just try to relax, this won't take long," said the gynecologist trying to calm the obviously nervous young blonde patient. "Haven't you ever been examined like this before?" he asked. "Yeah, sure," she replied, "but not by a doctor."

[LAWRENCE]

Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''