Todays Blonde Joke...... - Page 8

Car wash · 11-25-2007, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brilor

And if you are really bad you might get a BJ!
(Squirt is always threatening me with that)!

Is that( BJ ) meaning BIG JUGS ?

**squirt** · 11-26-2007, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Car wash

Is that( BJ ) meaning BIG JUGS ?

*looks down shirt ... define big? lol

LAWRENCE · 11-27-2007, 08:00 PM

A blonde is bragging about her knowledge of state capitols...

Proudly, she says, "Go ahead. Ask me. I know all of them!"

Her friend says, "Ok then. What is the capitol of Wisconsin?"

The blonde boastfully smiles and says, "That's easy: W."

LAWRENCE · 11-28-2007, 04:05 AM

Three blondes are walking through the forest. They come upon some tracks.

The first blonde says "They're deer tracks."

The second blonde says "They're bear tracks."

The third blonde says "They're moose tracks."

Then a train hits them.

LAWRENCE · 11-29-2007, 11:01 AM

Carrying a Harp
***********
My friend, Monica, is an accomplished harpist who frequently plays for weddings, receptions, parties and other such events. She is also blonde and has an appropriately cherubic face.

She was on her way to an engagement at a hotel and stepped into an elevator with her large golden harp. Just before the doors closed, a distinguished gray-haired man stepped on.

As the elevator rose, he looked thoughtfully first at her and then her harp and asked, "And just how far up are you going?"

**********************************

LAWRENCE · 11-29-2007, 02:23 PM

A young blonde secretary was describing her evening's exploits to a friend."After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that."
"That was smart," her friend said, approvingly. "Then what happened?" "He kept insisting, and I kept refusing," the secretary said. "You didn't weaken your resolve, did you?" asked the friend. "Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured, let his mother worry."

**squirt** · 12-01-2007, 08:15 PM

A very well-built young blonde was lying on her psychiatrist' s couch,telling him how frustrated she was. "I tried to be an actress and failed," she complained. "I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that, too."

The shrink thought for a moment and said, "Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don't you try nursing?"

The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful breasts, points it at the shrink, and says, "Well go ahead, I'll give it a try!"

LAWRENCE · 12-04-2007, 03:30 AM

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops, when they decide to hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato bags.

The first cop pokes the bag with the brunette in it, she says "meow," and the cop confirms that it is just a cat.

The second cop pokes the bag with the redhead in it and she says "woof." The cop says that it is just a dog.

The third cop pokes the bag with the blonde in it, and she says in her sweetest voice, "POTATO."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx

**squirt** · 12-04-2007, 07:21 PM

Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds.

LAWRENCE · 12-07-2007, 01:55 PM

Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar.
One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more
cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass."
Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away.
Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem... If
I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

11-27-2007, 08:00 PM	#73 (permalink)
LAWRENCE Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: VANCOUVER ISLAND CANADA Posts: 6,387 Rep Power: 661	A blonde is bragging about her knowledge of state capitols... Proudly, she says, "Go ahead. Ask me. I know all of them!" Her friend says, "Ok then. What is the capitol of Wisconsin?" The blonde boastfully smiles and says, "That's easy: W." __________________ ******************

11-28-2007, 04:05 AM	#74 (permalink)
LAWRENCE Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: VANCOUVER ISLAND CANADA Posts: 6,387 Rep Power: 661	Three blondes are walking through the forest. They come upon some tracks. The first blonde says "They're deer tracks." The second blonde says "They're bear tracks." The third blonde says "They're moose tracks." Then a train hits them. __________________ ******************

11-29-2007, 11:01 AM	#75 (permalink)
LAWRENCE Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: VANCOUVER ISLAND CANADA Posts: 6,387 Rep Power: 661	Carrying a Harp ********* My friend, Monica, is an accomplished harpist who frequently plays for weddings, receptions, parties and other such events. She is also blonde and has an appropriately cherubic face. She was on her way to an engagement at a hotel and stepped into an elevator with her large golden harp. Just before the doors closed, a distinguished gray-haired man stepped on. As the elevator rose, he looked thoughtfully first at her and then her harp and asked, "And just how far up are you going?" ****************************** __________________ ****************

11-29-2007, 02:23 PM	#76 (permalink)
LAWRENCE Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: VANCOUVER ISLAND CANADA Posts: 6,387 Rep Power: 661	A young blonde secretary was describing her evening's exploits to a friend."After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that." "That was smart," her friend said, approvingly. "Then what happened?" "He kept insisting, and I kept refusing," the secretary said. "You didn't weaken your resolve, did you?" asked the friend. "Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured, let his mother worry." __________________ ******************

12-04-2007, 03:30 AM	#78 (permalink)
LAWRENCE Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: VANCOUVER ISLAND CANADA Posts: 6,387 Rep Power: 661	A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops, when they decide to hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato bags. The first cop pokes the bag with the brunette in it, she says "meow," and the cop confirms that it is just a cat. The second cop pokes the bag with the redhead in it and she says "woof." The cop says that it is just a dog. The third cop pokes the bag with the blonde in it, and she says in her sweetest voice, "POTATO." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx __________________ ******************

12-01-2007, 08:15 PM	#77 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 263,229 Rep Power: 100	A very well-built young blonde was lying on her psychiatrist' s couch,telling him how frustrated she was. "I tried to be an actress and failed," she complained. "I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that, too." The shrink thought for a moment and said, "Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don't you try nursing?" The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful breasts, points it at the shrink, and says, "Well go ahead, I'll give it a try!"

12-04-2007, 07:21 PM	#79 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 263,229 Rep Power: 100	Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month? Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds.

12-07-2007, 01:55 PM	#80 (permalink)
LAWRENCE Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: VANCOUVER ISLAND CANADA Posts: 6,387 Rep Power: 661	Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass." Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language. "That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX __________________ ******************