Todays Blonde Joke......

[Pixsurguy]

THE PLAID DILDO

Young guy is newly hired at the sex shop and the owner tells the kid to mind the store while he goes out for lunch.
An hour later owner comes back and asks what happened while he was gone.

Kid tells him that a black lady came in and for $20 he sold her a black dildo.
A white lady came in and looked at the dildos and bought a white one for $30.
A blonde came in and looked over the dildo display and was not satisfied with what was there. Then she looked back on the counter behind the display case and said that she wanted the plaid one that was sitting on the counter. Kid said he sold her the plaid one for $40.
Owner says he did not know that they had a plaid dildo.
Kid says "you didn't, but she liked your Thermos Bottle so I sold it to her."

[LAWRENCE]

I recently saw a distraught young Blonde lady weeping beside her car. Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

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[LAWRENCE]

*************
A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk." The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know," says the guy. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff -- grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?" The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea." "So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

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[LAWRENCE]

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race.
The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool.
The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out.
Twenty minutes later, the blonde reaches the end and gets out.
The judge says, "The gold medal goes to the brunette,
the silver medal goes to the redhead,
and the bronze medal goes to the blonde".
The blonde says, "I don't want to be a sore loser or anything,
but I think the other girls were using their arms!"

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[longwalker]

Hey, one I haven't heard! lol

Congratulations on POTD Lawrence!!

[greatkahuna]

no coment....i might insult somebody. One has to be careful here on Jokeroo

[brilor]

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.



Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.



The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."



The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

[brilor]

140 million iraqis and 1 blonde




President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.





A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"





The barman says, "Yep, that's them."





So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"





Bush says, "We're planning WW III ".





And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"





Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits."





The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits?"





"Why kill a blonde with big tits?"





Bush turns to Powell and says,


"See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"

[LAWRENCE]

On a hot summer day, two nuns - both young, blonde and beautiful — are working in the church library putting away books. After working feverishly to get the job done, the first nun turns to the second and says, "I can't take this heat anymore! Do you think it would be all right if we removed our shirts to cool off while we worked?"

The second nun, feeling the heat herself, decides that it would be acceptable since no one else was present. She locked the door and closed the curtains, and then the two nuns removed their shirts and kept working. Suddenly, there's a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" asks the first nun.

"It's the blind man," says the voice behind the door.

"Well, a blind man can't see our nakedness. We can let him in," the other nun says, and opens the door.

"Wow!" says the blind man, "Nice tits! I gotta run back to the truck. Where do you want me to install these blinds?"


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[brilor]

What does a blonde call oral sex in a Honda Civic?

Her Civic Duty