Todays Blonde Joke......

[LAWRENCE]

A girl was visiting her blonde friend and noticed she had acquired
two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was
named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

Whereupon the blonde responded, "What else you gonna name watch dogs?"


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[brilor]

If some blondes had brains then they would be dangerous!

[brilor]

Q. Did you hear about the new paint called 'Blonde' paint ?
A. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.

[LAWRENCE]

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the
tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by
shooting your finger off?"

"No silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest,
and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants,
I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid
$3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in
the mouth."

"So then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to
make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I
pulled the trigger."



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[sexysadie]

Originally Posted by LAWRENCE

A girl was visiting her blonde friend and noticed she had acquired
two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was
named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

Whereupon the blonde responded, "What else you gonna name watch dogs?"


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Makes sense to me..lol..

Originally Posted by brilor

If some blondes had brains then they would be dangerous!

Some..lol..good save O'edible one!..

[LAWRENCE]

A blond is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas so she stops at the gas station.

While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so she can attempt to open the door herself. She goes outside and begins to jimmy the lock.

Ten minutes later, the attendant goes outside to see how the blond is faring. The blond outside of the car is moving the hanger around and around, while the blond inside of the car is saying, "A little more to the left...a little more to the right!"

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[sexysadie]

Originally Posted by LAWRENCE

A blond is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas so she stops at the gas station.

While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so she can attempt to open the door herself. She goes outside and begins to jimmy the lock.

Ten minutes later, the attendant goes outside to see how the blond is faring. The blond outside of the car is moving the hanger around and around, while the blond inside of the car is saying, "A little more to the left...a little more to the right!"

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Blondes are so helpful..lol..

[squirt]

I attended a terrific party New Year's Eve. Lots of good food and some wonderful people. I was busy sipping on my drink when I overheard a group of ladies having a discussion. One was saying how her daughter was very very meticulous and fastidious about herself and everything in her life. She said she hoped she would not be so anal as time went on. Whereupon a blonde in the group who was showing off her newly acquired breasts, chimed in with, "I used to be that way too, but as the years passed I've become less anal and more oral and vaginal.

[K1SSE5]

A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.

She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery ."

Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.

She again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.

Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself....

"Sweetheart, work with Me on this....buy a ticket."

[sexysadie]

Originally Posted by squirt

I attended a terrific party New Year's Eve. Lots of good food and some wonderful people. I was busy sipping on my drink when I overheard a group of ladies having a discussion. One was saying how her daughter was very very meticulous and fastidious about herself and everything in her life. She said she hoped she would not be so anal as time went on. Whereupon a blonde in the group who was showing off her newly acquired breasts, chimed in with, "I used to be that way too, but as the years passed I've become less anal and more oral and vaginal.

I guess she showed them how intelligent blondes can be..lmfao..that's hillarious!