Advice for 60+ year olds

[Pixsurguy]

Q. What is THE most important advice one can give a 60+ yr. old male?
A. Never trust a fart and never waste an erection.

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore . . . under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: “And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt .”

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses

Q: Seriously, as an attractive but older femail, what can I do for these crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: 'Gosh, I remember these.'

[squirt]

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

this makes for a great April Fool's Day prank lol

[Pixsurguy]

this makes for a great April Fool's Day prank lol

Only if you enjoy watching a man go into cardiac arrest.

[squirt]

Only if you enjoy watching a man go into cardiac arrest.

I couldn't pull it off these days lol he was alot younger too lol to say he was relieved would be THE major understatement lol

[Pixsurguy]

I couldn't pull it off these days lol he was alot younger too lol to say he was relieved would be THE major understatement lol

One can get almost the same reaction by telling him/her that the 14 year old daughter is pregnant.

OR - if there is a particularly guilty conscience involved - that the baby sitter is pregnant. hehehehehehe

[squirt]

One can get almost the same reaction by telling him/her that the 14 year old daughter is pregnant.

OR - if there is a particularly guilty conscience involved - that the baby sitter is pregnant. hehehehehehe

you're rotten lol neither of those would work in my house lol

[Pixsurguy]

you're rotten lol neither of those would work in my house lol

1. Yes I am and what's yer point? Everyone needs to be good at SOMETHING.
2. That's a damned shame. hehehehehe

[squirt]

1. Yes I am and what's yer point? Everyone needs to be good at SOMETHING.
2. That's a damned shame. hehehehehe

my point IS lol that I love that you're rotten lol
maybe when the grandkids get a little older, one of them will do the "trick" lol

[Pixsurguy]

my point IS lol that I love that you're rotten lol
maybe when the grandkids get a little older, one of them will do the "trick" lol

While NEITHER trick is good when unintended, it does seem better to give than to receive.
While you girls have the pus*y and get to make the rules, it's not all bad being a guy. hehehehe

[squirt]

While NEITHER trick is good when unintended, it does seem better to give than to receive.
While you girls have the pus*y and get to make the rules, it's not all bad being a guy. hehehehe

the only thing I love better than that you're rotten? lol

... is that you're a guy lol