A few funnies.

[brilor]

A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled
LSD?'
Granny replies, stuff the pills, have you seen the dragons in the
kitchen?!'

--------------------------------------------

Little Billy asks his dad for atelevision in his room. Dad reluctantly
agrees Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks,'Dad, what's love
juice?'
Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.
Billy just sat there with his mouth open in
amazement.
Dad says: 'So what were you watchin'?'
Billy says, ' Wimbledon .'

---------------------------------------------------------
A woman standing nude in front of a mirror, says to her husband,

'I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, pay me a compliment.'
He replies: 'Your eyesight is perfect.'

---------------------------
Wife gets naked & asks hubby,

'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy
body?'
Hubby looks her up & down and replies: 'Your sense of humour!'

-------------------------
An elderly couple was attending Mass.
About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband,

'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'

He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

[squirt]

A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled
LSD?'
Granny replies, stuff the pills, have you seen the dragons in the
kitchen?!'

ROFLMFAO ... the colors are SO pretty! lmao

[Huggies]

On the evening of their 50th anniversary, a reminiscing wife found the
negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her
husband and said 'Honey, do you remember this?'

He looked up from his newspaper and said, 'Yes dear, I do. You wore
that same negligee the night we were married.'

'She said, 'Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that
night?'

He nodded and said, 'Yes dear, I still remember.'

Well, what was it?' she asked.

He was not much in the mood for this, but he sighed and responded,
'Well, honey, as I remember, I said, 'Oh, baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out.''

She giggled and said, 'Yes, dear, that's it. That's exactly what you
said. So now it's fifty years late, and I'm in the same negligee. What
do you have to say tonight?'

He looked her up and down and replied, 'Mission accomplished

[squirt]

In the traditional ocean-liner interview, the reporter said to the glamorous movie queen, "I understand you were courted by many European noblemen during your four weeks abroad." "That's right, honey," she replied, hiking her skirt still higher and smiling into the flashing cameras. "I managed to make every second count."

[wife]

Lmao! (I think these were all new to me.)

[brilor]

When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands.

A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."

The hero told the journalist that he wasn't from that town.

"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog'."

"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."

"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline should read, 'Yankee Kills Family Pet'."

[brilor]

The shortest books ever written.

* 1000 Years of German Humor
* Everything men know about women
* The Code of Ethics for Lawyers
* Italian War Heroes
* Who's who in Puerto Rico
* Americans' Guide to Etiquette
* Royal Family's Guide to Good Marriages
* Safe Places to Travel in the USA
* Jerry Garcia's Guide to Beating Drug Addiction
* Contraception by Pope John Paul II
* Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors
* Cooking Gourmet Dishes With Tofu
* Gun Control for The New Millenium: NRA Handbook