07-31-2008, 12:00 PM
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 14,314
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Changed the names to protect the innocent
(These two were sent to me by friends who are McCain supporters, so naturally, I just changed the names to protect the innocent. hehehehehe) - Pix
An Amish farmer walking in his pasture in Pennsylvania , notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand. The Amish man shouts: 'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahi Gesheissen.' Which means: 'Don't drink the water. The cows have pooped in it.' The man shouts back: 'I'm from Chicago and just down here campaigning for John (George Bush, Jr.) McCain. I can't understand you. Please speak in English.'. The Amish man says: 'Use two hands, you'll get more.' **************************************** * Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas, who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brothers: one is currently serving a life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail aw aiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time 'working girl'. All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who supports John McCain for President? Signed, Worried About My Reputation
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 Thank you Squirtypoo Why am I in this handbasket and where am I going?
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