Bonus depends on inches from tip of penis to testicles

Pixsurguy · 10-28-2008, 12:32 PM

(This is an oldie but I've always liked it a lot.)

The Navy found that they had too many officers and decided to offer an Early Retirement Bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a Bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a Bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'

The pension man suggested that the Chief might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received.

But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,'which he
did.The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are Your testicles?'

The old Chief calmly replied, ' Vietnam

Huggies · 10-28-2008, 12:59 PM

He may be a grizzly old chief but a smart one indeed..hehehe.

**squirt** · 10-28-2008, 01:28 PM

heh! lol

Pixsurguy · 10-28-2008, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Huggies

He may be a grizzly old chief but a smart one indeed..hehehe.

Sure is. If it was me, I'd only get maybe $800.00.

:nervou s:

Pixsurguy · 10-28-2008, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by squirt

heh! lol

I just LOVE that type of humor, where the low down guy trumps the biggies. hehehehehehe

Huggies · 10-28-2008, 07:40 PM

He may be a grizzly old chief but a smart one indeed..hehehe.

Sure is. If it was me, I'd only get maybe $800.00.

:w ow:

I'm not even going to touch that one..hehehe.

Pixsurguy · 10-28-2008, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Huggies

He may be a grizzly old chief but a smart one indeed..hehehe.

Sure is. If it was me, I'd only get maybe $800.00.

I'm not even going to touch that one..hehehe.

That's what I hear from you girls every time I drop my drawers. (sob, cry, whine)

Huggies · 10-28-2008, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pixsurguy

That's what I hear from you girls every time I drop my drawers. (sob, cry, whine)

Oh God..what I could say right now and I wouldn't (sob,cry or whine)..hahaha.I'm biting my tongue.

Pixsurguy · 10-29-2008, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Huggies

Oh God..what I could say right now and I wouldn't (sob,cry or whine)..hahaha.I'm biting my tongue.

Hey there cutie - I'll do that for ya (gently) and maybe do some extensive nibbling elsewhere while I'm at it.

:in love:

10-28-2008, 12:32 PM	#1 (permalink)
Pixsurguy Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Louisville, KY Posts: 14,471 Rep Power: 622	Bonus depends on inches from tip of penis to testicles (This is an oldie but I've always liked it a lot.) The Navy found that they had too many officers and decided to offer an Early Retirement Bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a Bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a Bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000. The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.' The pension man suggested that the Chief might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,'which he did.The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are Your testicles?' The old Chief calmly replied, ' Vietnam __________________ Thank you Squirtypoo Why am I in this handbasket and where am I going?

10-28-2008, 12:59 PM	#2 (permalink)
Huggies Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ontario,Canada Posts: 9,912 Rep Power: 615	He may be a grizzly old chief but a smart one indeed..hehehe. __________________

10-28-2008, 01:28 PM	#3 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 263,193 Rep Power: 100	heh! lol __________________

10-28-2008, 07:40 PM	#6 (permalink)
Huggies Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ontario,Canada Posts: 9,912 Rep Power: 615	He may be a grizzly old chief but a smart one indeed..hehehe. Sure is. If it was me, I'd only get maybe $800.00. :w ow: I'm not even going to touch that one..hehehe.