11-07-2008, 12:12 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,599
Rep Power: 957   |
City man moves to country
So this big city guy is finally fed up with the fast lane and decides to quit his job and use his savings and such to buy a plot of land in the sticks. So once he is there he doesnt know what to do.So he goes down the road a few miles to his closest neighbor and asks the old man "what to you do around here?".The old man says "well,we pretty much raise chickens around here".So the city man says "how do I do that?",well the old man says, first you will need a male and female chicken.The male is called a cock, and the female is called a pullet. So the city man says "yes" can I buy them from you? Old man says sure....but you cant be seen driving around in that sports car out here,so you will need a donkey.The city man says OK.the deal is done.the city man jumps up on the donkey and the old man hands him the birds. old man says "remember,this donkey will stop in the road for no reason and there is only one way to get him moving again, and that is to scratch him behind his ear,and then he will take you home". Ok the man says and is on his way down the road with one bird in each hand riding his donkey.Sure enough, the donkey stops and wont move for anything.with hands full he wonders what to do.Just then a bright red sports car comes screeching by and stops.The driver is a gorgeous woman who asks the man "can I help?" And the man replies.."please, would you hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?".
:} 
Last edited by GhostWhisper; 11-07-2008 at 12:28 PM. |
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11-07-2008, 02:02 PM
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#3 (permalink) |
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 995
Rep Power: 139 |
A lawyer decides to give up the fast lane and move to a cabin in the woods.
As far as he can see there is no one around. After a few weeks he is starting to feel somewhat lonely. One day he is out walking and runs into a man. "Hi neighbor, I live just up the road a few miles. I was coming over to invite you over to my place tonight for a little party." The lawyer replies,"That's sounds great, I've been wanting to meet some folks around here." "Great", the man tells him. "There will be some food, some drinking, some fighting and some sex." "Wow, what should I wear?" asks the lawyer. "Don't really matter to me " says the man. "It's just gonna be me and you". 
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11-12-2008, 10:43 AM
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#5 (permalink) |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: The Great Lakes State and The Sunshine State
Posts: 12,025
Rep Power: 2880 |
You need hands, rough not soft
To come and warm you up up in that cold hayloft Let me hold you little darling in my big strong arms Can't get these kind of muscles anywhere but a farm Hey I'm a country man a city boy can't do the things I can I can grow my own groceries and salt cure a ham Hey baby I'm a country man I've got a jeep with camouflage seats That way nobody sees us parked back up in these trees Your little i-pod loaded down with hoobastank Don't be a tape player hater girl were cruising to Hank Hey I'm a country man a city boy can't do the things I can I can hotwire your tractor and plow up your land Hey baby I'm a country man You like the ivy league hum-vee tennis sweater type But girl I'm here to tell you don't believe the hype Hey I'm a country man I can wrestle hogs and gators with my two bare hands Girl you better move quick I'm in high demand Hey baby I'm a country man Hey I'm a country man huntin' me a good ole' country girlfriend Why don't you come and join me in my new deerstand Hey baby I'm a country man Hey baby I'm a country man
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