I thought Obama would get me laid.

[Pixsurguy]

Jeez guys, all of this comes AFTER he gets sworn in. Then he’ll do everything you thought he would.

I thought Obama would teach everyone the difference between "its" and "it's."

I thought Obama would buy me an iPhone.

I thought Obama would save my job.

I thought Obama would get my mom off my case.

I thought Obama would bring my dog back.

I thought Obama would bring back "Arrested Development."

I thought Obama would take me to that cool bar he was always talking about.

I thought Obama would back me up on Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'".

I thought Obama was offering happy hour all night.

I thought Obama would put the baby to bed.

I thought Obama would lend me season 3 of "The Wire."

I thought Obama would make me smell like cookies.

I thought Obama would overhaul my wardrobe.

I thought Obama would make life fair.

I thought Obama would have cured diabetes by now.

I thought Obama would let me smoke inside.

I thought Obama was giving Christmas bonuses.

I thought Obama would restore my 401K.

I thought Obama would pimp my ride.

I thought Obama would nominate a Secretary of Cute Bunnies and Kitties.

I thought Obama would flatten my abs.

I thought Obama would pay for this round.

I thought Obama would give me straight A's.

I thought Obama would clear up my acne.

I thought Obama would get me laid.

[squirt]

we can certainly hope! lol

[bbell]

Obama as you all know is like the foot prints in the sands guy. He helps those who help themselves!!!!!!!!

Q: I thought Obama would teach everyone the difference between "its" and "it's."
A: Well after 8 years of Bush butchering the English language and America loving it. He believes it would be easier to solve the current financial crisis.

Q: I thought Obama would buy me an iPhone.
A: He knows that his constant mentioning of his Blackberry. Will cause people to flock to Blackberry. Thus causing iPhone sells to drop, inturn that will cause a surplus of iPhones. Forcing them to drop the price. So your cheap ass can buy one.

Q: I thought Obama would save my job.
A: Given the amount thinking you do. Obama has a new job for you. Try to figure out how in the hell this nation elected Bush twice. When you figure it out, write a book. It will probably be worth at least a buck. Payment for a job done.

Q: I thought Obama would get my mom off my case.
A: Buy her an Obama t-shirt and a bus ride to the inauguration. While she is there move out of her basement. Mama will be happy and off your case.

Q: I thought Obama would bring my dog back.
A: He is aware that the poor thinkers among us, thinks he is Christ redux. He is not, but leads by example. Go to the pound and get a free dog. Get a dumb one because you always want to be the smart one in the house.

Q:I thought Obama would bring back "Arrested Development."
A: He wants to help you with this one. But after working a good two years to get Arrested Development out of the White House. Enough Said!!!

Q: I thought Obama would take me to that cool bar he was always talking about.
A: You presume that you are cool enough to be seen in his company. Flawed thinking at its(note correct usage) highest.

Q:I thought Obama would back me up on Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'".
A: If Hillary had won. She could have ordered him to back you up with their 1992 campaign song. As it stands he will send over a group nerds so you can sing harmony on "I kissed a Girl." If only in your dream.

Q: I thought Obama was offering happy hour all night.
A: You confuse him with the current alcoholic in the White House.

Q: I thought Obama would put the baby to bed.
A: He tucks his children into bed on a regular basis. Doing anyone else's would be just creepy. You perve.

Q: I thought Obama would lend me season 3 of "The Wire."
A: Living in mom's basement, no job, wanting to drink all day long. He would not lend you, well, anything.

Q: I thought Obama would make me smell like cookies.
A: Because you can not figure it out on your own. Grab a tube of raw cookie dough and use it as deodorant. Chicks dig raw cookie dough. So do ants.

Q: I thought Obama would overhaul my wardrobe.
A: Garanimals are self help clothes. Must your mama and Obama do everything for you.

Q: I thought Obama would make life fair.
A: Obama has to much compassion for the stupid. To actually allow life to be fair.

Q: I thought Obama would have cured diabetes by now.
A: Your doctor told you to get up off your fat ass and exercise. He is telling you to do the same. Help him help you.

Q: I thought Obama would let me smoke inside.
A: Get your own place and smoke inside all you want. Of course it will probably make it harder for your fat ass to exercise.

Q: I thought Obama was giving Christmas bonuses.
A: On his birthday, You are suppose to give him gifts. You ingrate.

Q: I thought Obama would restore my 401K.
A: You are not fooling him. You don't a have job. He doubts you even know what a 401k is.

Q: I thought Obama would pimp my ride.
A: Him Helping you. A clothes pin, some old baseball cards. Attach said items to the fork and spokes of your bicycle.

Q: I thought Obama would nominate a Secretary of Cute Bunnies and Kitties.
A: He will, he is just waiting for Cheney to vacate the premises. The man wields a mean shotgun.

Q: I thought Obama would flatten my abs.
A: I think we covered this already. Put down the cigs, get off your ass and work out, get out of the basement. You wuss.

Q: I thought Obama would pay for this round.
A: He will send you a map. With detailed instructions on how to get to Crawford Texas. Your intellectual peers a wait you.

Q: I thought Obama would give me straight A's.
A: That would not be "fair" you moron.

Q: I thought Obama would clear up my acne.
A: He will give you a hint. Clearasil!

Q: I thought Obama would get me laid.
A: If you are not cool enough to be seen with him at a bar. You certainly are not cool enough for him to be your wingman. Once again you wuss.

[Pixsurguy]

Originally Posted by bbell

obama as you all know is like the foot prints in the sands guy. He helps those who help themselves!!!!!!!!

Q: I thought obama would teach everyone the difference between "its" and "it's."
a: Well after 8 years of bush butchering the english language and america loving it. He believes it would be easier to solve the current financial crisis.

Q: I thought obama would buy me an iphone.
A: He knows that his constant mentioning of his blackberry. Will cause people to flock to blackberry. Thus causing iphone sells to drop, inturn that will cause a surplus of iphones. Forcing them to drop the price. So your cheap ass can buy one.

Q: I thought obama would save my job.
A: Given the amount thinking you do. Obama has a new job for you. Try to figure out how in the hell this nation elected bush twice. When you figure it out, write a book. It will probably be worth at least a buck. Payment for a job done.

Q: I thought obama would get my mom off my case.
A: By her an obama t-shirt and a bus ride to the inauguration. While she is there move out her basement. Mama will be happy and off your case.

Q: I thought obama would bring my dog back.
A: He is aware that the poor thinkers among us, thinks he is christ redux. He is not, but leads by example. Go to the pound and get a free dog. Get a dumb one because you always want to be the smart one in the house.

Q:i thought obama would bring back "arrested development."
a: He wants to help you with this one. But after working a good two years to get arrested development out of the white house. Enough said!!!

Q: I thought obama would take me to that cool bar he was always talking about.
A: You presume that you are cool enough to be seen in his company. Flaw thinking at its(note correct usage) highest.

Q:i thought obama would back me up on journey's "don't stop believin'".
A: If hillary had won. She could have ordered him to back you up with their campaign song. As it stands he will send over a group nerds so you can sing harmony on "i kissed a girl." if only in your dream.

Q: I thought obama was offering happy hour all night.
A: You confuse him with the current alcoholic in the white house.

Q: I thought obama would put the baby to bed.
A: He tucks his children into bed on a regular basis. Doing anyone else's would be just creepy. You perve.

Q: I thought obama would lend me season 3 of "the wire."
a: Living in mom's basement, no job, wanting to drink all day long. He would not lend you, well, anything.

Q: I thought obama would make me smell like cookies.
A: Because you can not figure it out on your own. Grab a tube of raw cookie dough and use it as deodorant. Chicks dig raw cookie dough. So do ants.

Q: I thought obama would overhaul my wardrobe.
A: Garanimals are self help clothes. Must your mama and obama do everything for you.

Q: I thought obama would make life fair.
A: Obama has to much compassion for the stupid. To actually allow life to be fair.

Q: I thought obama would have cured diabetes by now.
A: Your doctor told you to get up off your fat ass and exercise. He is telling you to do the same. Help him help you.

Q: I thought obama would let me smoke inside.
A: Get your own place and smoke inside all you want. Of course it will probably make it harder for your fat ass to exercise.

Q: I thought obama was giving christmas bonuses.
A: On his birthday, you are suppose to give him gifts. You ingrate.

Q: I thought obama would restore my 401k.
A: You are not fooling him. You don't a have job. He doubts you even know what a 401k is.

Q: I thought obama would pimp my ride.
A: Him helping you. A clothes pin, some old baseball cards. Attach said items to the fork and spokes of your bicycle.

Q: I thought obama would nominate a secretary of cute bunnies and kitties.
A: He will, he is just waiting for cheney to vacate the premises. The man wields a mean shotgun.

Q: I thought obama would flatten my abs.
A: I think we covered this already. Put down the cigs, get off your ass and work out, get out of the basement. You wuss.

Q: I thought obama would pay for this round.
A: He will send you a map. With detailed instructions on how to get to crawford texas. Your intellectual peers a wait you.

Q: I thought obama would give me straight a's.
A: That would not be "fair" you moron.

Q: I thought obama would clear up my acne.
A: He will give you a hint. Clearasil!

Q: I thought obama would get me laid.
A: If you are not cool enough to be seen with him at a bar. You certainly are not cool enough for him to be your wingman. Once again you wuss.

what a great response!! I loved it. Many thanks

[Itsnotgonnaspankitself...]

Originally Posted by bbell

Obama as you all know is like the foot prints in the sands guy. He helps those who help themselves!!!!!!!!

Q: I thought Obama would teach everyone the difference between "its" and "it's."
A: Well after 8 years of Bush butchering the English language and America loving it. He believes it would be easier to solve the current financial crisis.

Q: I thought Obama would buy me an iPhone.
A: He knows that his constant mentioning of his Blackberry. Will cause people to flock to Blackberry. Thus causing iPhone sells to drop, inturn that will cause a surplus of iPhones. Forcing them to drop the price. So your cheap ass can buy one.

Q: I thought Obama would save my job.
A: Given the amount thinking you do. Obama has a new job for you. Try to figure out how in the hell this nation elected Bush twice. When you figure it out, write a book. It will probably be worth at least a buck. Payment for a job done.

Q: I thought Obama would get my mom off my case.
A: Buy her an Obama t-shirt and a bus ride to the inauguration. While she is there move out of her basement. Mama will be happy and off your case.

Q: I thought Obama would bring my dog back.
A: He is aware that the poor thinkers among us, thinks he is Christ redux. He is not, but leads by example. Go to the pound and get a free dog. Get a dumb one because you always want to be the smart one in the house.

Q:I thought Obama would bring back "Arrested Development."
A: He wants to help you with this one. But after working a good two years to get Arrested Development out of the White House. Enough Said!!!

Q: I thought Obama would take me to that cool bar he was always talking about.
A: You presume that you are cool enough to be seen in his company. Flawed thinking at its(note correct usage) highest.

Q:I thought Obama would back me up on Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'".
A: If Hillary had won. She could have ordered him to back you up with their 1992 campaign song. As it stands he will send over a group nerds so you can sing harmony on "I kissed a Girl." If only in your dream.

Q: I thought Obama was offering happy hour all night.
A: You confuse him with the current alcoholic in the White House.

Q: I thought Obama would put the baby to bed.
A: He tucks his children into bed on a regular basis. Doing anyone else's would be just creepy. You perve.

Q: I thought Obama would lend me season 3 of "The Wire."
A: Living in mom's basement, no job, wanting to drink all day long. He would not lend you, well, anything.

Q: I thought Obama would make me smell like cookies.
A: Because you can not figure it out on your own. Grab a tube of raw cookie dough and use it as deodorant. Chicks dig raw cookie dough. So do ants.

Q: I thought Obama would overhaul my wardrobe.
A: Garanimals are self help clothes. Must your mama and Obama do everything for you.

Q: I thought Obama would make life fair.
A: Obama has to much compassion for the stupid. To actually allow life to be fair.

Q: I thought Obama would have cured diabetes by now.
A: Your doctor told you to get up off your fat ass and exercise. He is telling you to do the same. Help him help you.

Q: I thought Obama would let me smoke inside.
A: Get your own place and smoke inside all you want. Of course it will probably make it harder for your fat ass to exercise.

Q: I thought Obama was giving Christmas bonuses.
A: On his birthday, You are suppose to give him gifts. You ingrate.

Q: I thought Obama would restore my 401K.
A: You are not fooling him. You don't a have job. He doubts you even know what a 401k is.

Q: I thought Obama would pimp my ride.
A: Him Helping you. A clothes pin, some old baseball cards. Attach said items to the fork and spokes of your bicycle.

Q: I thought Obama would nominate a Secretary of Cute Bunnies and Kitties.
A: He will, he is just waiting for Cheney to vacate the premises. The man wields a mean shotgun.

Q: I thought Obama would flatten my abs.
A: I think we covered this already. Put down the cigs, get off your ass and work out, get out of the basement. You wuss.

Q: I thought Obama would pay for this round.
A: He will send you a map. With detailed instructions on how to get to Crawford Texas. Your intellectual peers a wait you.

Q: I thought Obama would give me straight A's.
A: That would not be "fair" you moron.

Q: I thought Obama would clear up my acne.
A: He will give you a hint. Clearasil!

Q: I thought Obama would get me laid.
A: If you are not cool enough to be seen with him at a bar. You certainly are not cool enough for him to be your wingman. Once again you wuss.

hahahaha...ZING!!!