Murder At The Walmarts

Ms.Diablo50 · 02-19-2009, 02:47 PM

So, here's the story. . .

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'

Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor........

The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...

(You're going to hate me for this ... )

'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 AT WAL-MART!'

**squirt** · 02-19-2009, 02:57 PM

roflmfao ... makes me wonder how many people went to Walmart the next day and demanded artichokes 2/$1 lol

Goodgrief · 02-19-2009, 03:22 PM

Groooooooooooooooooooan!
But it was funny!

Ms.Diablo50 · 02-19-2009, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goodgrief

Groooooooooooooooooooan!
But it was funny!

Well??????? I did kind of warn ya's !!!!

Ms.Diablo50 · 02-19-2009, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by squirt

roflmfao ... makes me wonder how many people went to Walmart the next day and demanded artichokes 2/$1 lol

Or asked for a rain check!!!!

**squirt** · 02-19-2009, 04:29 PM

lmao ... hold that thought! lmao

02-19-2009, 02:47 PM	#1 (permalink)
Ms.Diablo50 Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Illinois, Midwest Posts: 502 Rep Power: 814	Murder At The Walmarts So, here's the story. . . Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed. A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor........ The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested. The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ... (You're going to hate me for this ... ) 'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 AT WAL-MART!' __________________

02-19-2009, 02:57 PM	#2 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,740 Rep Power: 8572	roflmfao ... makes me wonder how many people went to Walmart the next day and demanded artichokes 2/$1 lol __________________

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02-19-2009, 03:22 PM	#3 (permalink)
Goodgrief Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 2,548 Rep Power: 1001	Groooooooooooooooooooan! But it was funny!

02-19-2009, 04:29 PM	#6 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,740 Rep Power: 8572	lmao ... hold that thought! lmao