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Thread: Typing errors!

  1. #1
    Jokeroo Legend brilor's Avatar
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    Mar 2004
    In between the devil and the deep blue sea!
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    Thumbs up Typing errors!

    Do you ever worry about theNHS at all ?You should -

    These are sentences actually typed by Medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow

    1. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

    2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.

    3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

    4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

    5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

    6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

    7.The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

    8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

    9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission.

    10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.

    11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

    12. She is numb from her toes down.

    13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

    14. The skin was moist and dry.

    15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

    16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

    17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

    18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

    19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.

    20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

    21 Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

    22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

    23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.

    24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

    25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

    26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
    27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

    28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.

    29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

    30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

    31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

    32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

    33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

  2. #2
    Administrator squirt's Avatar
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    May 2004
    Dallas, TX
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    12. She is numb from her toes down

    astounding! lol

    There's a man on the corner who doesn't have a name
    People pass and turn their heads away
    But to share a simple kindness would set your heart aflame
    And you'll get more than you'll ever give away ♥

  3. #3
    Sex for Brains KingHomie's Avatar
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    Nov 2003
    Moreno Valley, Cali.
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    24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

    ha ha ha ha

  4. #4
    Jokeroo VIP Status Anna's Avatar
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    May 2004
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