04-18-2009, 02:34 PM
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#21 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo Enthusiast
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In my own world, but its ok, they know me here!
Posts: 49,781
Rep Power: 5225   |
Geordies brother passed away so Geordie bought a little wooden cross to put on his grave. When he went to put some flowers on the grave he noticed that the wind had blown the cross over in the night, so he straightened it up and put a wooden chock in to keep it tight.
The next time he went down he saw that the cross had been blown over again and thought to himself, "what am I ganna dee"  He happened to notice a coil of wire lying on the ground that had been left by the cable lads that had been working nearby so he got the wonderful idea to fasten one end of the wire on the cross, and the other to a nearby tree. That night he went to the Club for a pint. His mate says, "Geordie, I see ye brothers dee'in weel since he snuffed it". "How de'ya make that oot", says Geordie. :?: "Well", "ah was passin his grave this mornin and a noticed he's got that digital telly in". |
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04-18-2009, 02:36 PM
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#22 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo Enthusiast
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In my own world, but its ok, they know me here!
Posts: 49,781
Rep Power: 5225 |
A Geordie is in London for the day and really fancie's a pint of NewCastle Brown Ale.
It isn't long before he comes across a pub. Once inside he walks up to the barman and asks for his favorite drink, a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale. "I'm sorry" say's the barman "We don't sell Newcastle Brown Ale here" The Geordie is gutted, but as he is thirsty he decides to have anything that the barman can offer. "Will a pint of Witbred do sir?" the barman enquired handing him the drink. "That'll do" the Geordie answers and takes a good long gulp, "Wy-ay thats not bad" he said in apreciation, "Im ganna need a piss now. Can ya look after me pint while I'm in there?" "Certainly Sir" answered the barman "But I don't want anybody touching my pint, there will be hell to pay if they do" and off he goes to the toilet to relieve himself. While he's in there a big black woman walks up to the geordie's pint, takes a sip from it and then farts in it. The barman see's this but is to late. He panics, remembering the Geordie's threat and 2 seconds later in comes the geordie back from the toilet. He's about to pick up his pint when he notices a fresh lipstick mark on the glass,"whats be goin on ere then man? Some one's ad me pint". Sweating, and pointing at the black woman over in the corner, the barman tells the story of how she farted in his pint. "Reet then" say's the geordie rolling up his sleeves, and marches over to where the big black woman is sat, "'scuse me luv, you fart in ma Whitbred" to which the woman replies, "No I'm Tessa Sanderson."  
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04-18-2009, 02:39 PM
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#23 (permalink) |
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Jokaroo Enthusiast
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In my own world, but its ok, they know me here!
Posts: 49,781
Rep Power: 5225 |
My wife has started visiting a new hairdressers run by a Geordie girl.
Today my wife asked for a 'perm'. The Geordie girl started, "I wandered lonely as a cloud..." |
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04-18-2009, 02:48 PM
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#24 (permalink) | |
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Super Moderator
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Dallas, TX
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Quote:
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