You know you're a Scotsman when....

[konifur2]

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local Pizza Shop on speed dial.


9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a whippet.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your hair does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
20.. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say ' Pizza Hut' on the side.
24.. The biggest city you've ever been to is Asda.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A cyclone hits your neighborhood and does £50,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

[squirt]

I ain't lol

[konifur2]

Originally Posted by squirt

I ain't lol

i`m sure i have a bit of Scottish in me.....(get your mind out the gutter you know what i mean!)

[anna_hun]

Dirty mind here 2..but apart from that I aint a scotsman..lol

[konifur2]

Originally Posted by anna_hun

Dirty mind here 2..but apart from that I aint a scotsman..lol

no. but you have a bit of Geordie in you
wenn Sie anziehen, informierte `t mich ich hat einige Wörter mit Ihrem Ehemann. *

[anna_hun]

Originally Posted by konifur2

no. but you have a bit of Geordie in you
wenn Sie anziehen, informierte `t mich ich hat einige Wörter mit Ihrem Ehemann. *

Oh dear..lol
I cant go like them..with hardly anything on outside in winter mind...

[brilor]

Konifur you cheeky fuckin Mackem!

[squirt]

Originally Posted by konifur2

i`m sure i have a bit of Scottish in me.....(get your mind out the gutter you know what i mean!)

apparently your mind was there *too* lol

[brilor]

Originally Posted by squirt

apparently your mind was there *too* lol

He's just a mackem afterall! They come into this world with nothing and leave everyone with nothing after they have been burgling houses!

[konifur2]

Originally Posted by brilor

He's just a mackem afterall! They come into this world with nothing and leave everyone with nothing after they have been burgling houses!

well you have not been down makem land for a long time. everyone goes out and leaves the doors open nowadays.well everyone has been burgled by the Scots so we nave nothing else to steal.well all live in Harmony now.....nice little estate on the way to Newcastle.