10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

[Pixsurguy]

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him!

But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

(She got that one right!!!)

[squirt]

in more ways than one??? lol

[Pixsurguy]

Originally Posted by squirt

in more ways than one??? lol

More positions than one, too (depending upon the level of arthritic complications at the moment). :inl ove:

[squirt]

Originally Posted by Pixsurguy

More positions than one, too (depending upon the level of arthritic complications at the moment). :inl ove:

lmao ... is it a good day??? lol

[Pixsurguy]

Originally Posted by squirt

lmao ... is it a good day??? lol

It always would be with YOU.
Bet you have a variety of interesting ways to "lubricate" my joint(s). hehehehe

(Jeez - I just crack me up. Keep myself entertained for hours on end.)

[squirt]

Originally Posted by Pixsurguy

It always would be with YOU.
Bet you have a variety of interesting ways to "lubricate" my joint(s). hehehehe

(Jeez - I just crack me up. Keep myself entertained for hours on end.)

with Rosie??? lmao

[Pixsurguy]

Originally Posted by squirt

with Rosie??? lmao

Well, I was speaking of my amazin' and fascinatin' humor, but the fact is that Rosie is always available and never seems to be inclined to turn me down. [singing "She wears my ring". Thank you Jackson Browne.*] Even at my worst warthog look, Rosie never seems to mind.



Actually, I'm pretty careful not to have "cracklin" Rosie" (remember the rose wine of that name?).


*She was standing at the load-in
When the trucks rolled up
She was sniffing all around
Like a half grown female pup
She wasn't hard to talk to
Looked like she had nowhere to go
So I gave her my pass
So she could get in and see the show

Well I sat her down right next to me
And I got her a beer
While I mixed that sound on stage
So the band could hear
The more I watched her watch them play
The less I could think of to say
And when they walked off stage
The drummer swept that girl away

But Rosie you're all right -- you wear my ring
When you hold me tight -- Rosie that's my thing
When you turn out the light -- I've got to hand it to me
Looks like it's me and you again tonight Rosie

Well I guess I might have known from the start
She'd come for a star
Might have told my imagination not to run too far
Of all the times that I've been burned
By now you'd think I'd have learned
That it's who you look like
Not who you are

But Rosie you're all right -- you wear my ring
When you hold me tight -- Rosie that's my thing
When you turn out the light -- I've got to hand it to me
Looks like it's me and you again tonight Rosie

[squirt]

*applause, applause* ... Bravo! lol

[Pixsurguy]

Originally Posted by squirt

*applause, applause* ... Bravo! lol

Actually, regardless of the lyrics - the music, the arrangement, and the voice make that a terrific song. He easily could have made that a straight love song/ballad. Of course, he's just great at that anyway. Bet he was high when he wrote it.