A 'marriage proposals' advertisement!

mazbut · 10-31-2009, 10:48 PM

ACTUAL LETTER TAKEN FROM THE TIMES OF INDIA.
RESPONSE TO A 'MARRIAGE PROPOSALS' ADVERTISEMENT!

MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN PUNJABI ENGLISH

Madam :

I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Lahore. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely. I am a soiled son from inside Punjab. I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also.

Especially I like cricket, and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot. I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay. ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. Am always giving respect to the ladies.

I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for
you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and my things into your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day.. fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon

Yours and only yours

Choudhary Warraich, born by mother in Okara and become big in Lahore, Punjab

**squirt** · 10-31-2009, 10:56 PM

well? what did she say??? lol

mazbut · 10-31-2009, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by squirt

well? what did she say??? lol

she smiled and said
I am already booked!

Iceman · 10-31-2009, 11:10 PM

I think she turned him down because he said that he was gay...lol

**squirt** · 10-31-2009, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mazbut

she smiled and said
I am already booked!

bummer! lol he sure poured his heart into that! lol

**squirt** · 10-31-2009, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iceman

I think she turned him down because he said that he was gay...lol

I think it was the part about taking his things into her hands ... she was SURE he meant cleaning and washing and ironing and those kinds of things! lol

mazbut · 10-31-2009, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by squirt

I think it was the part about taking his things into her hands ... she was SURE he meant cleaning and washing and ironing and those kinds of things! lol

nope..she might have been disappointed that he was '6 foot tall and had only 6 inch long!!

**squirt** · 10-31-2009, 11:30 PM

spoken like a man lol I'm speaking like a woman lol I know which would run me off and it ain't the 6 inches! lol

10-31-2009, 10:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
mazbut Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Karachi,Pakistan Posts: 1,380 Rep Power: 413	A 'marriage proposals' advertisement! ACTUAL LETTER TAKEN FROM THE TIMES OF INDIA. RESPONSE TO A 'MARRIAGE PROPOSALS' ADVERTISEMENT! MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN PUNJABI ENGLISH Madam : I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Lahore. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely. I am a soiled son from inside Punjab. I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket, and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot. I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay. ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. Am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim. I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and my things into your hand. If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day.. fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation. Expecting soon Yours and only yours Choudhary Warraich, born by mother in Okara and become big in Lahore, Punjab

10-31-2009, 10:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,740 Rep Power: 8572	well? what did she say??? lol __________________

10-31-2009, 11:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
Iceman Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Texas Posts: 17,924 Rep Power: 3099	I think she turned him down because he said that he was gay...lol __________________

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10-31-2009, 11:30 PM	#8 (permalink)
squirt Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 355,740 Rep Power: 8572	spoken like a man lol I'm speaking like a woman lol I know which would run me off and it ain't the 6 inches! lol