Law's of Cat Phyics

[FeistyLaraCroft]

Laws of Cat Physics

Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract
cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness
of the fabric.

Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional
to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible,
in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved,
and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach
just about any counter top that has anything
remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction
A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to
obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything
good is served.

Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion
to a human's desire for her to do something.

Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough,
someone will come along and take out
something good to eat.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must
contain a cat within the earliest
possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion
to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly
proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible;
often the mid- section of an
unsuspecting, reclining human.

Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse
proportion to the amount of effort a human expends
in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential
energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter +
Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.