Notes from the Edge of Life.......
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a b--ch.
Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
What was your power again?
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Ugly People,
Drugs & Alcohol
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
At least you get picked up...
The Girls of Jersey Shore
Sure it's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Dear All Woman I talk to on the phone,
When we are done with our conversation and you say to me; "Have a good day."
And I reply; "Thank you I surely will because I just talked with you."
And you say: "Oh you are so sweet."
Remember that still doesn't get me layed.